


May You Find Rest

by RustyGate



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23907901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RustyGate/pseuds/RustyGate
Summary: Clementine needs help, and Violet plans on saving her.Set during the final moments of the game, and post game. An attempt to reason out how Clementine might have survived the sudden traumatic amputation, and the difficulties she might face on her long road to recovery. However hard it is, she wont have to do it alone.
Relationships: Clementine & Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running), Clementine/Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running)
Comments: 67
Kudos: 173





	1. Bring Her Home

_Clementine._

The name took over Violet’s thoughts. Even as her breath grew ragged, and her thighs burned. Even when she stumbled over hidden rocks, sending her crashing to the forest floor. Even when flashes of Tenn’s eyes, staring back at her accusingly as he went limp. The name kept her going. Kept her from simply giving up, curling into a ball and crying on a bed of pine needles.

_Clementine._

Clem needed her.

The gash in Clementine’s leg looked like it had been deep. Even if she had managed to get away from the walkers at the bridge, Violet had seen how much pain she had been in. There was only so far Clem was going get before the walkers got her.

Clementine needed help.

And Violet wasn’t about to let her down.

Violet sprinted through the darkness, trying to keep the fence line in sight to her right while dodging around walkers. Even if she still had a weapon, she didn’t have time to kill them.

A thin walker appeared around a tree in front of her, in the moonlight she could see its hand had been gnawed down to the bone. No time to change course, Violet side stepped, kicking out at its knee. She felt the nubs of what had once been its fingers rake down her back as she kept running, and tried not to think about it.

It wouldn’t take long to get back up. She was getting closer to the school now. The further she ran the more likely she was to run into more walkers. If she kept dodging them, they would just follow her right back to the broken front gates at Ericson.

Everything in her was screaming to keep going, to get back to Ericson and find help. If she paused now, that would be a moment longer it took her to get back to Clem.

But she knew she wouldn’t be helping anyone if she led a herd of walkers back to the academy.

With a grunt of frustration Violet slowed to a jog, her eyes scanning something to hide behind. She spotted a cluster of boulders near the side of the fence looked large enough to work as cover. She made her way towards them and ducked down, her face warm against the stone.

For a while she could hear nothing above the sound of her own ragged breathing. Cursing softly, she sucked in a long deep breath and held it for a second and released, promising herself that cardio would become in integral part of her daily routine as soon as this was over. She took a few more breaths, holding them in a little bit longer each time, before her heart rate finally slowed. She wasn’t breathing completely naturally, but her gasps for air had become more manageable.

The forest was always alive with noises at night. Owls, frogs, you name it. It had surprised her when she first moved to Ericson. She had expected silences in the remote woods, not a cacophony of animal noises. But now all were silent and still. As if they knew they were not alone in the woods, and the night no longer belonged to them.

In the distance, slowly getting louder, Violet could hear the ever-present groaning of walkers as the stumbled their way after her.

“Shit-Fucking Shit!” She hissed. It wasn’t the most eloquent thing Violet had ever said, but it wasn’t the worst either.

Taking a few deep breaths Violet forced herself to think. She couldn’t go straight back. She had to distract them, redirect them somewhere else. Clem had told her how easy it was to distract walkers by throwing rocks, but Violet wasn’t sure it would work on all of them. She couldn’t risk diverting a few of them, only to have the others keep heading straight towards Ericson.

She would have to lead them away herself.

If she led them downhill, back towards the river, she would be able to stay in front of them easily, as long as she didn’t run into anything trying to come up the hill. Her muscles started to tense as she thought it through.

She paused to pick up a few of the smaller rocks at the base of the boulders, and stuck them into her jacket pocket. Not large enough to slow her down or kill a walker, but hefty enough to make some noise and distract one if necessary.

The walkers were closer now, Violet could hear the groans growing louder, and the occasional rustle of branches as they moved through the pines. Taking one more deep breath, Violet slapped her thighs as she stood up.

She had to do this.

For everyone back at Ericson. For Clem and AJ.

She had to.

Running from cover Violet ran back towards the walkers, surprised at how close they had managed to come in such a short time.

“This way you little bitches!” She shouted, her voice cracking instead of booming. “Come and chew on this ass you rotting piles of… shit fucks!”

Violet never did have much of a way with words. Not like Louis, or Minnie, or Clem for that matter. But she liked to think she could at least get her message across.

And either way, it worked.

Milky white eyes slowly turned in her direction, following the sound of her voice. Encouraged, Violet grabbed a branch from the forest floor and started slamming it against the side of the trees. It wasn’t as loud as she had hoped but it would save her voice, and her breath.

Slowly the walkers turned, following her down the hill and away from Ericson.

For a few minutes she kept a slow pace, trying to remain as close to the walkers as possible withing risking a bite. She had to make sure they were following her. Looking over her shoulder as she ran, she could see several dark figures reaching out for her, silhouetted through the trees. Satisfied they were following her Violet increased her speed, taking large steps to outpace them on the down slope.

The moment she lost sight of them she cut left, circling back around to the road. The whole exercise had taken less than ten minutes, but even though she knew it had been the right thing to do, she still resented the time it took.

At any moment Clementine might…

Violet grit her teeth and ran faster.

The sun was starting to crest the horizon as Violet rounded the last bend in the road and the twisted metal gates of Ericson finally came into view.

Ruby was at the front gate, pushing against the metal cart they had made their escape in, trying to wedge it in front of the gate entrance. She had unhitched the horse from the wagon, and while the horse munched nonchalantly on the grass, Ruby was frantically doing her best to block the entrance from potential walker attack. 

Ruby must have heard Violet approaching, as she suddenly twisted on the spot, a small kitchen knife in her hand and a look of determination in her eyes. The look quickly turned to relief.

“Vi, you’re back. The gates are broken and…” Ruby trailed off, her gaze going over Violet’s shoulder. A look of concerned plastered across her face. “Where are the others? Where’s Tenn?”

Violet’s cheek twitched, but she didn’t let herself think about it.

“No time,” Violet doubled over her hands on her knees, trying to talk and catch her breath at the same time, “Clem got hurt, they’re in trouble. We’ve got to help them.”

Ruby stared at her for a moment, before giving a determined nod.

“Well alright then,” she moved back towards the school, “You get that cart to block the entrance, I’ll grab the first-aid kit. How badly is it?”

The image of Clem’s leg flashed before her eyes.

“Hurry.” She panted.

That was all the urging Ruby needed. She was gone in an instant.

Violet tried to push the cart back into position in front of the gate, but all she succeeded in doing was to make her arms and legs tremble as she pushed against the solid frame. She had managed to push is maybe a few centimetres before Ruby appeared with Aasim close behind.

Aasim handed Violet a small knife and a canteen of water, which Violet gratefully took, unscrewing the cap and taking long deeps gulps. It was hard to stop herself finishing the whole thing, but the through of Clem and AJ made her stop. They were probably thirsty too, by now.

Ruby was busy rummaging through the backpack they used as a first-aid kit, taking quick account of everything they had. “Lord this better be enough,” Ruby muttered, zipping up the bag. “Well watcha waiting for, get up on that horse and take me to em.”

Violet nodded dumbly, too tired to argue. She moved over to the horse still nibbling at the nearby grass and lifted her foot into a stirrup, but once again her legs trembled as she tried to hoist herself up. The horse danced away from her, and Violet fell face first on the ground.

Ruby saw her struggling, and stepped in between Violet at the horse, put her foot in the stirrup and swung herself onto the back of the horse. Ruby always had loved the school’s horses.

“Come up and sit behind me, I’ll handle the horse,” Ruby reached down and offered Violet her hand. With some help from Aasim, and with Ruby keeping the horse steady, Violet managed to scrambled onto its back.

“Which way?” Ruby asked, as she gently nudged the horse into a canter.

Violet paused.

She wasn’t sure.

All she knew was where Clem had been when she last saw her.

It was eating at her again. That feeling, like wave after wave was crashing down on her and she couldn’t break free. Each wave pulling her further away from air.

_Think Vi, think!_

She took a trembling breath.

“The old bridge,” She said at last, and Ruby nodded, knowing where she meant. That was where Violet had last seen them. There was no way Clem would have gotten far with her leg. They would start at the bridge, and figure it out from there.

They had to try.

Clementine would have done it for them.

She had done it, too. Clem had brought so many of them home. Maybe not everyone, but those that that were left where only there because of Clem.

This time Violet would try for her.


	2. Don't Rest Too Long

They arrived at the bridge just in time to hear the gunshot.

“Where-?” Ruby pulled the horse to a stop, her heard whipping side to side trying to figure out which direction the sound had come from.

“Shh!” Violet hushed her.

Another two shots rang out, and Ruby reared the horse around in the direction the sound had some from.

“Must be near the old stables,” Ruby said as she urged the horse to go faster, “Nearly forgotten the place was out here.”

Violet didn’t say anything. She had been vaguely aware of the horse program the school ran before the start of it all, but had never participated in the program. After falling in with Minnie and Sophie, Violet had focused her extracurriculars into music, hoping to spend more time with the twins. The horse program had been shut down sometime before the virus hit. Violet vaguely remembered a note about the costs of keeping horses being too high for such a small amount of student participation.

But by the way Ruby handled the horse she had clearly been an ‘A’ student. The sound of hooves hitting asphalt softened as Ruby steered them through the pine forest. Violet held on for dear life as trees and branches whipped past them.

Suddenly they broke free from the tree line, in front of them were the stables though at that point they might be more aptly described as a crumbling wooden shack under siege by an army of walkers.

Ruby gasped at the sight of them all.

“Fuck….” Violet breathed.

The crush of walkers pressing in against the stables was enough to give Violet pause. There was no doubt in her mind that Clem and AJ were in there. Now she just had to figure out how to rescue them.

“How are we-?” Violet asked, but was cut off by a sudden gut-wrenching scream from inside the stables. The walkers surged forward against the flimsy wooden walls, doubling their efforts to break through. Whatever had happened in there had them excited. They were hungry and Clementine had just rang the dinner bell.

“That was Clem.” Violet’s mouth went dry. “God what’s…We gotta get in there!” Violet slid awkwardly off the back of the horse, and took a few running steps towards the structure before running into a wall of solid muscle. Ruby had wheeled the horse around in front of her, blocking her path forward. 

“Get out of the way,” Violet snarled as Clementine let out another sobbing cry of pain from inside the stables. Violet tried to step around the horse, but whatever way she stepped, Ruby blocked her. “Ruby I swear if you don’t move-”

“Damnit Vi, think for a minute,” Ruby hissed at her, trying not to draw the walker’s attention. “What’s your plan here? You gonna run straight through all them walkers and hope they just decide you don’t look like a succulent Chinese meal? How’s that gonna help her? You’ll both end up one of them.” Clem let out another scream of pain, as if to emphasis Ruby’s point.

_Breathe, just fucking breathe._

_Now look and think._

“I’ll distract them,” Violet said, trying not to focus on the splintering walls of the stables, and drown out the Clementine’s screams of pain. _God that sound…_ Violet forced herself to focus. “On foot, I’d just fall off this thing...Besides, you’ll need the horse to get her back to Ericson.”

Ruby opened her mouth, but Violet shook her head, knowing exactly what Ruby was about to offer.

“No, it has to be me. If… if she’s hurt, she won’t need me, you’ll be more use to her,” It grated Violet to admit it, but it was true. “Give me a few minutes to get the walkers’ attention, then ride in there and save her. For me.”

Ruby clenched her jaw, and Violet could tell she wasn’t in love with the plan, but she nodded anyway.

If Violet had ever said anything bad about Ruby, in that moment she was ready to take it all back. She didn’t have the words to say how thankful she was, for what Ruby might be about to risk. Instead she just reached up and grabbed her arm and gave it a gentle squeeze, before running towards the stables. She hoped Ruby understood.

“Hey! HEY!” Violet started screaming, circling clockwise around the structure, “Come on you sorry excuses for fertiliser. You… festering piss sacks!”

As she moved the walkers turned their heads, following the sound of her voice. She knew the insults didn’t bother them, but she had to make noise, and swearing at them made her feel better. Braver.

Violet realised her mistake almost immediately. While some had followed the sound of her voice, most were still firmly focused on whatever was happening inside the stables. She couldn’t risk getting to the other side of the building, and only pulling away half of the walkers with her. She needed them all to follow her.

“Fucking … malignant… shit dicks!” Violet shouted, waving her arms. It was no use, the ones that had heard her still stumbled slowly in her direction, but Clementine was still screaming bloody murder, and most just kept pushing into the building, trying to get at their injured prey inside.

She needed something more, something that would completely refocus their attention. She started patting her pockets for an old lighter, one she lost years ago, maybe a fire or…

Her hands hit the hard lumps of rocks in her pockets. She had completely forgot she was carrying them.

_Well, never a better time to unload some rocks then right before running for your life._

Digging her hands into her pockets she pulled a few out, before taking aim and firing.

“Don’t give up, Clem!” She shouted, her first rock hitting a walker squarely in the back of the head, forcing it to turn around. “Just… fucking survive, ok?”

It was working. As more and more rocks found their targets, herd mentality took over and soon more started after her. One walker moving with purpose in her direction seemed to convince three more it was a good idea, and slowly more and more turned to follow her. Violet moved around the structure, throwing the occasional rock to get the attention of a particularly stubborn walker, until she knew she could either buy time by running, or buy time by getting eaten.

She chose the former.

“Ruby, GO!” Violet shouted before running into the forest, leaving the shattered looking building behind.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The sun was already starting to dip towards the horizon. High above the ground, in the sturdy branches of an old Virginia Pine, Violet estimated it was just after lunch time. She still had several hours of daylight left to make her way back to the academy.

She glanced down as the last of the stragglers lurched their way past her hiding spot. Just as well. She had been up in that tree for hours, and her exhaustion and hunger were becoming harder to ignore.

It hadn’t been hard to outrun the walkers. Violet hadn’t appreciated until recently how much easier it was to run when you weren’t being shot at. After a mile or so, satisfied the walkers wouldn’t turn back, Violet had outpaced them until she was well out of sight. From there it has been an easy enough task to find a tree to climb and hide in.

After that, all she had to do was wait until the mass of shambling limbs and teeth passed her by.

Well, wait and think.

Which, right now, was the last thing Violet wanted to do.

Not knowing what had happened in the stables was getting to her. She kept playing the scenarios in her head, and each one came back to the same conclusion.

Clementine had been bitten.

What else would have had her screaming like that? Maybe if AJ had been bitten…

But Violet was sure Clementine would never let that happen. If a walker was about to sink its teeth into AJ’s neck, Clem would drag it off him and offer it her own neck instead.

The image of Minnie’s face, mauled and dripping with blood, leaped into her mind unbidden, just as suddenly replaced by imaged of Clementine’s mauled and sunken face. Those bright brown eyes Violet had been lost in, when she should have been gazing at the stars, now dull, covered in films of filth and flies.

Violet shuddered.

She would have held her arms tight across her chest if she hadn’t been in a tree. An old habit, one that her mother had always hated. Her mother always told her it made Violet look like she was pouting, or being belligerent. Her mother tried everything from grounding to bribing her to get Violet to kick the habit. But nothing had worked.

The truth was, it made Violet feel safe. Like she was protecting herself from some unseen force. And the tighter she crossed her arms, the safer she felt.

_Just breathe._

She could hear Clementine’s voice whispering beside her, could see her standing in front of her, reaching out and placing a reassuring hand on Violets shoulder, just before she leant in for a kiss. Violet smiled, her fingers absently brushing against her lips as she allowed herself to relive the brief moment they had shared together before their attack on the Delta, before AJ had found them in the bushes and asked what they were doing.

A particularly loud groan form below brought Violet out of her reverie. The last walker shuffled past, and Violet pushed the thoughts of Clementine’s lips from her mind and started to climb down the tree. She had to focus now. If she got herself bitten while daydreaming about Clementine, she would never get another chance with Clementine.

Her plan was to check the stable first. She didn’t want to make her way all the way back to Ericson only to find out that Clem, AJ, and now Ruby were still stuck in the stables. She also thought that it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world to see if there was anything worth scavenging there.

Her stomach gave a violent growl as her foot finally hit ground. Violet sighed, she couldn’t remember the last time she ate, or slept for that matter. She doubted there was any food in the stables, but it was worth a try.

With one last look to make sure she hadn’t been spotted by the walkers, Violet turned and made her way back. If she was being honest with herself, which Violet always tried to be, there was another reason she wanted to check the stables first.

She was afraid.

Afraid she would get back to Ericson Academy and find out that Clementine wasn’t there -or anywhere- anymore. Afraid to find that Ruby and AJ had left what used to be Clementine in the decrepit shack. Violet was afraid if she got there, and Clem was no longer Clem, she wouldn’t be brave enough to finish it.

Would she run?

She wasn’t sure.

It didn’t take Violent long to walk back to the stables. She tapped softly on the wooden door, slowly increase the force, getting louder and louder until she was satisfied that nothing was lurking in the straw waiting to jump out. Cautiously Violet opened the door to survey the scene. A pitchfork lay on the ground, and a few dead walkers, but it looked like most had followed Violet when she had run.

The stables felt silent, and cold. She doubted anyone was in there, but she licked her lips and called out regardless.

“Clem?’ Violet’s hoarse whisper died in her throat as her eyes fell on familiar boot lying in a pool of blood and hay.

Hands shaking, Violet reached down to pick it up, before realisation struck and she snatched her arm way. She scrambled back wildly as though she had nearly been bitten.

After a few moments doubled over, retching into the hay, Violet caught her breath.

Her eyes moved wildly around, looking anywhere but back to the lonely leather boot. She didn’t look at it.

She knew exactly what it was, and what it probably meant.

_Breathe_

She was breathing. Too much. Each breath came quick and shallow. She was going to throw up again. The waves were crashing down and no matter how many breaths she took it felt like she was drowning.

_There is nothing you can do._

Clem’s words echoed in her mind, cutting through everything else that threatened to overwhelm her. Nothing she could do here. Violet had to keep moving and hope somehow Ruby had managed to get Clementine back to Ericson alive.

Stooping down and picking up the pitchfork, Violet moved to leave. It was less than a mile back to the school, and if she moved quickly, she could make it back in less than twenty minutes. Violet paused at the wooden doors, forcing herself to look back and acknowledge the boot. Clementine’s foot.

Carrying a severed foot over a mile seemed wrong, Violet might even go so far as to say the behaviour would have bordered on the psychopathic. But just leaving it there somehow seemed worse. Violet hesitated. Finally, the idea of some scavenging beast finding and eating what had once been a part of Clementine was what helped her decide.

Violet tried not to think too hard about it as she leaned down and grabbed the boot by the toe. It was heavy, and dripped slightly. She tried even harder not to think about it. At least she knew what had made Clementine scream so much.

The walk back to Ericson was uneventful, and it wasn’t long before she found herself approaching the makeshift gates. The cage that had been used to cart away Louis, Omar, and Aasim had been rolled onto its side to help shore up what was left of the twisted metal gates.

Willy waved at her on watch.

“Vi!” He sounded happy to see her, “We tied the cage in place to help keep the gates together. You’ll have to climb over. There’s enough space to squeeze through once you get on top.”

“Alright,” Violet sighed, “Stand back. I’m gonna throw some stuff over.”

Violet javelin threw the pitchfork, followed quickly by the leg, and started to climb over the lopsided cage.

“What the hell is this-ergh gross!” The disgust in Willy’s voice was obvious, and despite the screaming of her muscles, Violet chuckled. She had warned him. As she dropped down into the safety of the courtyard Violet nearly fell to her knees in relief. She hadn’t realised how on edge she had been until her feet finally hit the dirt behind closed walls.

Safety at last. Or as close as you could get in this world.

Willy was alternating between staring at her and back to Clementine’s severed foot. Vaguely, Violet got the feeling that he was going to remember this. She didn’t care though. It might not be of any use to Clementine any more, but she wasn’t about to let it get eaten either. Exactly what she was going to do with it though, she wasn’t sure.

But right then it didn’t really matter.

“Where are they?” She asked Willy.

“They took her to their room.” Willy knew exactly what Violet was asking after.

“Put that somewhere safe.” Violet gestured to Clementine’s foot as she moved to get past him.

“Uh… sure… I mean yeah, if you say so.” Willy squat down to examine it, giving it an experimental prod with his finger. As Violet rushed past him her turned to call back to her over his shoulder, “She’s in pretty bad shape Vi.”

Violet picked up her pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, 
> 
> Being a bit blown away from the positive response, I decided to post another chapter. 
> 
> I added a few tags, because this will have a slow build up and might take a few chapters to get to the more fluffy romantic stuff, because as much as I would like to jump right in and explore their relationship I first wanted to explore the mad scramble to try and keep Clementine alive, and also the fact that after a severe injury most people probably would need to spend some time coming to terms with their new normal. 
> 
> Finally, I know the game refers to it as a barn, but I think stables works fine too. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement, I really appreciate them.


	3. In the Dark of Night

As she approached the heavy wooden door to Clementine and AJ’s room, Violet expected to hear screams of pain, or at least some colourful swearing. The silence made her nervous. Violet opened the door slowly, afraid of what she would see.

Ruby and AJ were in the centre of the room between the two bunk beds, whispering to each other angrily. Ruby held a roll of duct tape in her hands, and AJ looked like he was ready to bite her again. They both looked up when Violet entered the room.

“Violet,” Ruby took a few steps towards her and Violet could see deep circles under her eyes, and flecks of blood smeared on her face. When was the last time any of them slept?

“I’m fine,” Violet smiled half-heartedly, answering Ruby’s unspoken question, before letting her smile drop. Smiling seemed to take a lot of effort all of a sudden. Violets eyes flickered to Clementine’s prone form, lying uncovered on the bed. She rushed to her side.

“Alive,” Ruby said, placing a comforting hand on Violet’s shoulder. Violet closed her eyes, rested her forehead against the metal frame of the bunk, and let out a deep breath.

_Alive._

She almost didn’t believe it. Back in the stables there had been so much blood…

Violet opened her eyes and looked down at Clementine. She was pale, but surprisingly clean. Glancing down at Clementine’s leg Violet expected see dirty blood-stained sheets. Instead she saw neat bandaging, stained with blood but not dripping, and an oddly familiar thick woven band tightly strapped around her leg a few inches above the binding. Violets fingers moved to touch the rough looking fabric, but she stopped herself. She didn’t want to hurt Clementine.

“It’s a tourniquet.” Ruby explained, “Ms Martin told me about them. Showed me how to make them too. I didn’t make this one though, it’s the pre-made commercial type.”

Violet peered at it, and saw that what had once been a bright orange strap had become worn and stained a dark gritty grey. Why did it look so familiar though?

“Where did you get it?” Violet asked, not taking her eyes off it. Had the school really been worried enough about a student losing a limb they had decided to buy a commercial tourniquet?

“Able was wearing it.” Ruby sounded a bit unsure, “When Clem told me he was dead… I decided to…well it aint like he needed any more.”

Violet understood her hesitation. Ruby may have had the potential to boil over into a hot-headed ball of rage, but she still felt conflicted about scavenging from corpses.

“You did the right thing,” Violet turned away from Clementine, the colour of her skin seemed so pale… “If you hadn’t, she might not be alive right now. Thank you, Ruby.” Violet surprised both herself and Ruby by pulling Ruby into a hug, “You saved her.”

When she pulled back Ruby was blushing a deeper shade of red than Violet thought was humanly possible, “It aint no thing,” she muttered quietly, but Violet could see her chest puff up with what could only be described as pride.

“Is she going to be ok?” Violet turned back around to look at Clementine. Ruby may have learnt some first aid, but she was still just a teenager, and certainly not a trauma surgeon.

“I…I don’t know.” Ruby said, and Violet appreciated the honesty, even if it was hard to hear. Ruby continued, “Which is why we need to tape her.”

“No we don’t!” AJ shouted, and Violet nearly jumped. The boy could rival Ruby in temper, “I saved her! I cut off the bite! She isn’t going to turn into a monster!”

Violet turned around to look at AJ. Tear stains ran down his cheeks and he kept sniffing in a futile attempt to keep the snot from dripping out his nose, but his eyes held a steely look of determination. Ruby held up the roll of tape helplessly.

Sighing, Violet got down on one knee. Violet had seen Clementine kneel the exact same way when she had been trying to persuade AJ of some truth he just hadn’t wanted to hear. The familiar movement worked, the hard look of determination wavered, and uncertainty crossed his face.

“You did good AJ,” Violet tried to make her voice sound reassuring, but it just came out tired and worn, “The only reason she has a chance right now is because of what you did. But…” her mind flashed back to the blood-stained hay once more, and she blinked away the images, “… she lost a lot of blood. This is just a precaution, like last time. You know how you and Clem have rules for surviving out there? Well this is like an Ericson rule, for surviving in here.”

Hesitantly, AJ nodded and Violet gave his shoulder a small squeeze.

“I’ll do it.” Violet stood up and took the tape from Ruby, leaned over Clementine’s still form and gently grasped the wrist closest to the wall. Violet grimaced as she taped the slender wrist to the bunk post. The last time she held Clementine’s hand had been under much nicer circumstances. Violet took a moment to assess the binding, giving Clementine’s wrist a few gentle tugs to make sure it wouldn’t come loose.

Satisfied Violet gave a curt nod and moved to stand back up but was pulled back down as Clementine’s free hand reaching out, fingers grasping at her shirt. Ruby shouted a warning, and for a heart stopping moment Violet thought Clementine had turned as she glanced down and saw brown eyes staring up at her. Violets was already reaching for a knife that wasn’t there as Clementine’s free hand moved up towards Violet’s face.

Instead of clawing at Violet’s cheeks, Clementine’s shaking fingers gently brushed them, and a small smile flickered across her lips, her mouth moved slowly, uttering words too quiet for Violet to hear.

Hurriedly clutching at Clementine’s hand, Violet bent down to hear what she was saying, her ear resting close to Clementine’s lips.

“… malignant shit dick? Really?” Clementine smiled weakly, and Violet snorted with laughter, burying her face into Clementine’s chest. She pulled back in time to see Clementine’s eyes flicker shut as she drifted back into unconsciousness.

“Is she ok?”

“What did she say?”

Ruby and AJ spoke over each other, both pushing forward towards the bedside. Violet moved aside, reluctantly letting go of Clementine’s hand in order to give AJ and Ruby space to inspect their patient.

“It’s ok, it was her.” Violet emphasised the word ‘her,’ relishing the relief flooding through her body as the sound of it, “She said…”

Violet fell silent and grimaced.

She really hoped those weren’t the last words Clementine ever said to her.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Violet’s eyes opened slowly. A dull ache in her neck had woken her up. Moonlight flooding through the bedroom window made it east to see why.

She had fallen asleep on the floor besides Clementine’s bed. She hadn’t remembered falling asleep. The last thing Violet remembered was Ruby ushering AJ out of the room with a vague promise of food. After that the exhaustion must have claimed her. She wasn’t surprised, the last time she remembered sleeping was the afternoon before they launched their attack against Lilly and the Delta raiders.

Sitting up, Violet looked around the room a little groggily. She immediately spotted a bowl of cold stew sitting beside her, mostly rice and beans. No one had found time to check the traps since the night Delta had attacked Ericson. She would have to get on that in the morning. They couldn’t afford to lose a single hare to a walker. She hungrily tucked into it, slurping the contents down. She usually hated cold stew, but right then it was the best thing she had ever tasted.

“Don’t eat too fast,” AJ’s voice filled the room, startling Violet, “You might choke. Also, beds are nice. Next time try sleeping on the bed. Clem let’s me share sometimes, I’m sure she would let you share too.”

Violet slowed down, taking the time to bury her face into her bowl and hide her blush. She wasn’t sure how to explain to AJ that if Clementine ever offered to share a bed with Violet, it wasn’t going to be in the same way she shared it with him. She opted not to say anything at all. Instead, she spooned the last few grains of rice into her mouth and looked around the room for AJ.

He wasn’t in his bed, like she expected, instead he was crouched on the dresser, knife in hand as his eyes surveyed the school grounds outside the window.

“How late is it?” Violet asked, she had no way of knowing if the sun had recently set or might soon rise. AJ just shrugged in response. “What are you doing up?”

“Keeping watch.” AJ whispered, not moving a muscle. Violet was quietly impressed at his ability to crouch so perfectly still. Another skill developed while living on the road, she guessed.

“Someone will be keeping watch on the gate,” Violet used hushed tones, briefly glancing at Clementine’s sleeping form. “You should rest.”

Again, AJ just shrugged. Frowning Violet stood up and reached out for him, trying to coax him back to bed.

Big mistake.

Faster than she could respond AJ stiffened, flailing his elbow straight back over his shoulder. Violet tried to dodge it but it happened too quickly, and AJ’s elbow ended up clipping her on the cheek. Violet cursed, her hands instinctively moving to cover her face.

“I’m sorry!” AJ’s voice cracked as he turned around and dropped his knife, “I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no,” Violet prodded her cheek tentatively and winced, it was going to bruise, “I’m sorry. Clementine warned us not to do that, that it upset you.”

“She called is trauma,” AJ climbed down from the dresser, careful not to make too much noise, before moving over and sitting on his bed. His shoulders slumped as he looked down at the floor, turning into a completely different boy than that one that had just been on watch a few seconds ago.

Violet crouched down in front of him, making sure he could see her as she placed a reassuring hand on his own trembling ones.

“It’s ok, kiddo,” Violet whispered, unconsciously using one of Clementine’s pet names for him, “We all have a little bit of that these days.” Images swam through her head from the night before, and she did her best to bury them.

One night outside the walls or Ericson had given her a lifetime worth of pictures. Staring at the small boy in front of her, thinking about the years he spent on the road, she wondered how many pictures he had to try and forget. How many Clementine had.

“Is she gonna have it now too?” AJ asked, interrupting Violet’s thoughts. Following his gaze, she turned to look over her shoulder at Clementine, her missing leg obvious in the moonlight.

“I…” She hesitated, not knowing what to say, but she felt like she couldn’t say nothing, “I don’t know.”

He looked disappointed.

“If she does,” Violet added, trying to recover the situation, “We can help her, together. Just like she helps you.”

If anything he looked more dejected.

“Clem says you need a doctor to help you get over it, and even then it might not work.” He said sullenly.

“Well,” Violet cast out her mind for a solution, and came up with a bit of an iffy one, “Some of the people who worked here use to be a type of doctor. Some of them could even help with trauma. If we look through their things maybe we can find something that can help.”

“Yeah?” AJ looked up at her hopefully.

“It’s worth a try, right?” Violet smiled, and AJ smiled back.

Clementine started to twitch in her sleep, murmuring something under hear breath. Violet stood up to check on her.

“She’s having that nightmare,” AJ came up beside her, “She has it a lot.”

_She probably already has her own fair share of trauma,_ Violet thought as she reached down and tested Clementine’s temperature, her hand came away slick with sweat.

“Shit,” Violet knelt down beside the bed, “her fever is pretty bad. Go get Ruby, would you?”

AJ nodded and ran out the door.

“Come on, Clementine,” Violet whispered, cupping Clem’s burning cheek in her hand, trying to take some of the heat out of the unconscious girl’s face, “You survived too much to let a fucking fever take you.”

It didn’t take long for Ruby to show up, with Louis, Aasim, and Omar right behind.

“I didn’t know which room was hers,” AJ said by way of explanation, “I had to wake everyone up.”

Violet didn’t care. She moved out of the way to give Ruby access to the bedside.

“I was afraid of this,” Ruby said, after checking on Clementine and her bandages. “We did what we could but, looks like she might have an infection-”

“She’s not infected! She would have turned already!” AJ growled at Ruby, who only shook her head at him before turning back to care for Clementine.

“Not that sort of infection, it’s the wound on her leg. Some bad stuff got into it and it’s making her sick.” Violet tried to explain, but gave up, “Can we help her?”

“Well, we got two options,” Ruby sighed, “We can either wait it out, hope she is strong enough to fight it off herself. But with this sort of injury, and how weak she was…” Ruby let the sentence taper off, but her meaning hung thick in the air.

“The other option?” Violet asked.

“We need something we just don’t got.” Ruby snapped. Violet ignored Ruby’s surge in temper, she knew by now Ruby hated feeling helpless.

“What is it?” Violet pushed.

“Antiseptic, or maybe antibiotics… Probably some sort of way to deliver them, like an IV bag or some needles. Maybe something to cauterise the wound, if it’s not too late for that. But we just don’t have anything like that here. It’s a school, not a hospital.” Ruby started at Violet, hopelessness spreading across her face, “I’m sorry Violet, I tried-”

“The boat!” Omar interjected, and all eyes turned to him, “They had a bunch of medical stuff on that boat from Delta. A doctor too, or at least a guy who knew medicine. He injected me with some stuff that stopped the pain for a bit, and stitched up my leg. They cauterised Louis’ tongue too, when they… you know. They might have what you’re looking for.”

“Guess they were happy to maim their recruits, but not kill them,” Violet grimaced, thinking how close she had come to losing her hand or part of it. “Right, no time to lose,” Violet had already decided, “I can be there and back in an hour if I run.”

“Less, if you take one of the horses,” Ruby said, but Violet shook her head. She would probably just break her neck falling of it.

“I’ll manage,” Violet responded, she turned and looked at Omar and Aasim. Their eyes were tired and faces pale, but they didn’t look away.

If she asked them, they would go with her.

But Violet couldn’t make herself ask. Couldn’t make herself risk them again so soon after getting everyone back.

“I’ll go alone,” She said at last, “Aasim can you go grab me an empty backpack and a knife. Omar, talk me through it. What deck where the medical supplies on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying something to make sure the notes don't keep flowing onto the next chapter, hopefully it works and you don't get three chapters worth of notes. If it doesn't work... someone please explain what I am doing wrong. 
> 
> I went back to work this week and am working on a few essays, but I'm loving how relaxing I am finding writing this fic, so while the updates will be about once a week, I promise they will keep coming. 
> 
> And the slow burn tag is very true, I promise there is some Clem/Violet fluff coming up, but it might take a while to get there.


	4. Chapter 4

Violet nimbly ducked behind a tree.

She was frustrated. Dawn had been threatening to claim the night when she had left the relative safety of Ericson, and the sun had only just then cleared the horizon. She had been making good time and was nearly to the ship, but now she was certain someone or something was following her.

She held her breath and listened. No groaning, no reckless crashing through the undergrowth, but there, every now and then, a quiet rustle of pine needles being brushed aside, an unseen twig snapping underfoot. 

Violet eased the knife from her belt. She had her suspicions on who was following her. But out there, beyond the walls, so close to the ship which, less than 24 hours ago, had been surrounded by a hoard of the undead, Violet couldn’t be sure.

A few minutes patience would be all it took to be sure…

The muffled sounds of movement slowly grew louder, until finally AJ walked past her tree. She wasn’t surprised that he followed her, but she was surprised he hadn’t noticed her immediately.

“I told you I got this one,” Violet said, unable to keep the smug from her voice. She leant back against the tree, trying to achieve an air of nonchalance as she thumbed the blade of her knife.

AJ started, his head snapping around in the direction of Violet’s voice. He frowned at her for a moment, before giving her a begrudging nod of approval. Violet wondered why she thought going unnoticed by a six-year-old was suddenly such an achievement.

“You’re pretty quiet,” AJ finally whispered, “Quiet is good.”

“Not so bad yourself kiddo,” Violet slipped her knife away, “Just you?”

AJ nodded, “I told them I was going though. Rule number one and all that. But Omar’s leg still hurts from where he was shot. Aasim wanted to come, but Ruby said she needed help, in case something happened with Clem.”

“She ok?” Violet asked, failing to keep the worry from her voice. AJ nodded, and Violet let out a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding. “Ok, let’s go.”

The two moved silently through the trees, making their way down to the shoreline. It wasn’t long until the boat came into view.

“I thought it would be all burnt up.” AJ said, taking in the sight of the somehow mostly intact ship. Violet examined the wreck. While it was certain the ship wouldn’t be floating anytime soon thanks to the explosions, it looked like the fire had burned itself out almost as quickly as it had spread.

“Must have been made form treated materials.” Violet shrugged, peering at half submerged vessel.

“Treated?” AJ asked.

“Yeah,” She shrugged, “you know, like… before the walkers appeared. They use to paint that shit in chemicals or something, stops it from burning so easy.”

“Huh,” AJ murmured, “Chemicals…”

Violet hoped he didn’t ask any follow up questions about chemicals. She had never figured herself on becoming the valedictorian of Ericson. She still wouldn’t. Any one of the others had better marks than she previously had, before it all started.

The only class she ever excelled in had been music. It was the only class she could make herself pay attention. Not so surprising, she thought, considering it was the only class she used to share with Minnie. But maybe that was why she tried so hard, trying to show Minnie there was more to Violet than the hunched over, closed off girl she once was.

“Where do you think the walkers went?” Violet asked, trying to distract herself from thought of the past. Minnie may have died trying to kill Tenn, and tried to take Clementine down with them, but that didn’t mean Violet could completely forget the good years they had spent together. If Marlon had never sold them out to the Delta, things would have been different. For all Violet knew, she would have still been dating Minnie by the time Clementine showed up.

“Some of them definitely followed us down river,” AJ said, pointing in the direction of the cave they had escaped to, “Some of them probably got washed away by the river. And maybe a few followed…”

AJ stopped talking.

“Minnie.” Violet finished AJ’s sentence. AJ grunted and turned away. Whatever confused feelings Violet harboured, it was clear AJ was in no way conflicted in his opinion of Minnie.

“She was a good person.” Violet struggled to find the right words, “At one point. She was different before. She use to make me feel so safe…”

“I didn’t know her before,” AJ interrupted, and started moving towards the river, “And I don’t care who she ‘use’ to be, I only care about what she did to Clem.”

_What about what you did to Tenn?_

Violet bit her tongue and moved to follow him, picking her way carefully through the pines. She supposed she couldn’t blame him for not wanting to dwell on good people doing bad things. Violet wasn’t sure why she was even trying. For a kid like AJ, actions were probably easier to understand and justify when divided into the two camps of ‘things that will keep you alive’ versus ‘things that will get you dead.’

They approached the ship together, quickly finding a small hole in the hull they could squeeze their way through. It was hard working their way through the lopsided ship. Often using what had once been walls as their walkway and trying to avoid still smouldering timbers, it was hard work. They were puffing by the time reached the second deck, where Omar had said the med station was.

Violet was grateful for the low number of walkers they came across. It gave her time to survey the ship as they went. They passed a galley with a promising looking locker fridge, followed by what looked like some sort of fuel room filled with barrels of what Violet assumed was Diesel -which she sure Willy would just love- and several rooms that looked like personal quarters.

They grabbed anything that was in in the open – a few cans of food, a baseball bat, and an arrow from one walkers’ neck -but didn’t let themselves get side-tracked. They were there for Clem. They would come back and scavenge the ship within an inch of its life when they had time.

Omar’s directions turned out to be good and they found the med bay quickly. Even when shot through the thigh and abducted the guy had managed to keep a level head and stayed aware of his surroundings. Violet wasn’t so sure she could have done the same.

“There’s a lot of stuff in here,” AJ whispered, looking around at the lopsided room. Most of the cupboard doors were open, their contents spilled across the room.

“Take everything you can,” Violet said peering down at the scattered bottles of pills and bandages. Omar had told her that there was a special cabinet filled with syringes, vials of liquid, and needles and thread. That was what she was looking for.

She found it in the corner. A metal thing that reminded her of the filing cabinets back at the school. She tugged on the little handle but it was locked. She had expected that. Omar had said the doctor who treated him kept it on a retractable lanyard clipped to his belt with a small silver key.

AJ opening his backpack and started throwing fistfuls of whatever he could find into it, while Violet made her way to the back of the small room, to a little closed off office Omar had seen the doctor come out of. Pulling her knife out, she tapped on the door.

A long rasping groan answered her tapping. AJ glanced up at her quizzically, and she shook her head in response. She could manage one walker. AJ shrugged and went back to rummaging through the items on the floor.

Violet tested the handle and the door swung open smoothly. There, in a heaped pile of motionless limbs and pale flesh, was what had once been the doctor. It was clear she really didn’t need AJ’s help. The explosion must have thrown him against the side of the ship, snapping his neck instantly. Other than the constant growl and snapping of teeth, the walker didn’t move at all.

Violet crouched down and drove her blade through his temple. The groaning stopped. Violet grimaced, pulling her blade free and wiping the blood on the doctor’s coat. It always seemed worse, doing it when they were so freshly turned. Still, better than being bitten.

Retrieving the key from the doctor’s belt Violet went back to the cabinet and unlocked it.

Jackpot.

Just as Omar had described, a few dozen syringes and various vials filled with clear liquid. Swinging her backpack from her shoulder, Violet unzipped it and crammed in everything she could. She had no idea what any the vials might actually contain, but she wasn’t going to leave any of it behind.

As Violet slid the empty drawer shut, she noticed a few books that were filled with a lot of medical jargon she didn’t really understand. She slid a few of the heavy manuals into her backpack, just in case Ruby could make something out of them.

Looking over at AJ she could see he was almost done filling his own bag. She moved over and helped him finish loading items into his bag.

“Right,” Violet stood up.

“Time to go.” AJ said, echoing her thoughts, and Violet nodded in confirmation.

It wasn’t long before they made it safely back to the empty shoreline. Maybe it was the sunlight streaming down, or the lack of people trying to shoot her, but Violet was amazed at how different the place seemed to her in that moment. Beautiful, almost peaceful. 

“We make a good team,” AJ suddenly pipped up as they carefully picked their way through the trees. “You, me, we’re a good team.” Violet looked at him quizzically.

“What makes you say that?” she asked.

“Well…” AJ cocked his head to one side, carefully considering his response, “You’re quiet.”

“My best quality is that I’m quiet?” Violet shot him a wry grin, “Finally I know the secret to winning people over. Just keep my mouth shut.”

“Right now, you could be quieter,” AJ rolled his eyes at her, and Violet chuckled.

“Oof,” Violet feigned being punched, “that sass on this one.” At least the kid understood sarcasm. After a moment AJ continued.

“It’s more than that…. You’re smart, you see things… use what’s around you to stay safe. You risk yourself for others. I trust you. Clem trusts you. Good teams trust each other.”

Violets sarcastic grin morphed into something softer, and she turned her face away so that AJ wouldn’t see it.

That’s when she saw it. A familiar flash of red through the pine needles, short cropped hair illuminated by the sun. Stopping dead in her tracks, Violet held head breath. AJ took a few steps before turning to see what was holding her up.

Following her gaze, AJ spotted what had caught her attention. There, wondering aimlessly through the undergrowth, was Minnie.

“It’s not her anymore,” AJ looked up at her, “There’s nothing left of who she was.”

“You’re right,” Violet nodded.

_Not my Minnie, anyway._

She wasn’t sure exactly when her Minnie had disappeared. When Marlon abandoned them to the Delta? When she killed her own twin sister? Violet had lost her Minnie over a year ago, grieved for her, and never seen her again.

AJ slipped his gun from his pocket, but Violet shook her head.

“Too much noise.” She said, pulling out her knife, “I’ll do it.”

AJ nodded, and put his gun away. Grateful, Violet slipped silently through the trees, altering her approach to make sure what had once been Minnie didn’t see or sense her. She was glad AJ had listened. Not because of the noise a gunshot would create, though that was a good reason. No, she was glad that if anyone had to end what little piece of Minnie was left in the world, it could at least be someone who loved her.

As she approached, Violet stooped down and picked up a small rock, lobbing it high into the trees above the walker’s head. Eyes filled with grit gazed up in into the branches of the tall pines, searching for the illusive source of the sound.

Violet didn’t hesitate. She stepped forward and plunged her knife through Minnie’s temple. The body went limp, and collapsed onto the soft forest floor.

Violet stared at her for a moment, unconscious of the tears spilling over her cheeks.

She didn’t believe there was anything left of the person that had been Minnie. But if there was, if there was some small shred of Minnie inside the creature that wore her face when Violet had finally ended its existence, she hoped Minnie had seen the sky through the pines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all well! 
> 
> Next chapter we start to see a lot more Clementine, and develop the relationship a bit more. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

The days following their expedition to the wreck disappeared quickly, and before Violet had realised it, over a week had passed.

Of course, it was also one of the busiest weeks Violet could remember. It seemed like every time she turned around there was something else that required her attention. Fixing the gates had been her first priority, a task she put Willy and Aasim onto. She had also asked Omar and Ruby to sort through the debris in the courtyard, scavenge anything useful and clear away the rest. The walker heads and served their purpose, but they gave her the creeps. The sooner they were gone the better.

Violet also had to find a way to keep on top of the regular maintenance of the school. Traps had to be set, food, water and firewood had to be collected. Louis did his best, and more than Violet could have asked from him after what he had been through, and what he had lost. But he was only one person, and there were so few of them left to get it all done.

To make matters worse, no matter how much she tried to delegate, someone always had a question, a disagreement, or suddenly wanted her opinion on how something should be done. The constant decision making weighed on her. When Willy asked if could boobytrap the gate with explosives Violet finally snapped, asking if he purposefully wanted to get someone killed, or was really just that stupid.

She regretting it almost immediately. Though his methods were bordering on the maniacal, she knew his heart was in the right place. He just didn’t want to see anyone else get taken.

After explaining why rigging their only entrance with unstable, amateur made explosives was not the best idea, Violet had to then spend an entire afternoon workshopping ideas for alternative methods of protecting the front gate. By the end of it Willy certainly looked happier, and excitedly went about collecting materials for his new traps -to be set outside the gates of Ericson- but Violet couldn’t help but feel it was time she would never get back.

She felt like she was being pulled in too many directions, and was worried every decision she made would have unknown dire consequences somewhere down the track. Not for the first time, she wondered how Clementine had managed alone, all those years.

Somehow, in the middle of all that, she had found the time to bury Minnie. There hadn’t been time the night of the supply run. Getting the medical supplies back to Clementine had been her top priority. But later in the day, once she had slept and eaten, Violet had returned back to the woods to collect the body.

AJ had gone with her, and together they wrapped the body in a blanket and dragged it back to Ericson. If AJ had wondered why Violet was making the effort, he didn’t ask, which she was glad for. Violet wasn’t sure she could completely explain it herself.

She probably should have hated Minnie for the betrayal, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. The world had changed them all, some more than others. If things had gone differently, if Violet had been the one taken by the Delta, she wondered how she would have reacted to the situation.

She wasn’t so sure she would have ended up like Minnie, but she couldn’t be certain she wouldn’t have, either.

Violet took the time to bury Clem’s foot too. Again, not really sure why she did it, just knowing that it felt like the right thing to do. They marked Minnie’s grave with a small cross, her named emblazoned across it. They added a small wooden cross where they had buried the foot, but left it blank, neither AJ or Violet liked the idea of seeing a cross with Clementine’s name on it…

Clementine had been drifting in and out of consciousness since that first night. Whenever Clementine woke, Ruby took the opportunity force food, water, and pills down her throat. Most of the vials Violet had recovered from the wreck had ended up containing morphine, which helped manage Clementine’s pain and helped her sleep, but not much else. The small packets of capsules AJ had crammed into his bag had been what they had needed all along.

Once Ruby had managed to rouse Clementine long enough to get her to swallow a few, it hadn’t taken long for the fever to drop. Still, Clementine slept most of time, her few wakeful moments in no way lucid, often rambling about horses and AJ.

Violet vaguely remembered stories about people in comas being aware of what was going on around them, so one afternoon when she was too tired to sleep, she gathered a few random books from the old school library. She sat down on the wooden floor at Clementine’s bedside and started reading out loud, hoping that the sound of her voice might break through Clementine’s constant nightmares and bring her some calm.

It became a habit, in part because it made Violet feel closer to Clementine, and she quickly finished the first book she had picked and moved onto the next. Violet often woke to find she had drifted off. On one such occasion someone – probably Ruby, she guessed, - had retrieved her blankets and a pillow from her own room, and tried to make her comfortable. Violet thankfully rearranged the bedding in the moonlight, into something halfway comfortable to sleep on, despite the hard wooden floor boards.

Sleeping on the floor beside Clem’s bed, her book in hand, quickly became her new normal. The former Ericson students quickly learned that if Violet wasn’t out doing her best to keep Ericson up and running, the best pace to find her was likely on the floor beside Clementine’s bed. 

AJ would occasionally sit on his own bed, staring at the underside of the top bunk while he listened to whatever story Violet was reading. She suspected he had never really had a chance to read much on the road, and was only just discovering the thrill of fiction.

“I don’t like this one,” he said suddenly one afternoon. Violet looked up at him laying on his bed, dappled sunlight from the window illuminating his feature, “What’s a cow anyway?”

“It’s a type of animal, like a horse but… different.” Violet flipped the book shut and showed him the picture, pointing out the cow on the cover. She hadn’t been picky when selecting her random collection, which was why she was now reading a very dry book detailing how to care for farmyard animals. Useful… if they had any cows. “Want to pick the next one?”

AJ perked up and rolled off the bed. He rummaged through the small pile on the ground for a moment.

“You can check the library if you like,” Violet suggested, “I’ll read whatever you bring back.”

As AJ scurried off to the library, Violet wondering if she should have put a caveat on her offer.

_As long as he doesn’t bring back any more animal husbandry books,_ she thought wryly to herself as she stood up and stretched her lower back. The floor felt harder the older she got.

She sat down on the bed near Clementine, still fitfully slumbering. She looked frail, but still better than she had been in days. The warm sunlight falling across her face made Violet smile, unconsciously reaching out and brushing a stray strand of hair back behind Clementine’s ear.

Clementine sighed, rolling her face into Violet’s palm, her lips moving silently as she uttered something Violet couldn’t hear. Violet’s heart jumped, it took everything she had to stop herself from leaning in and capturing Clem’s lips in her own.

Violet didn’t think Clementine would mind if she did kiss her. After all, Clementine had seized the moment twice already. A small smile spread over her face as Violet remembered it. But that was Clementine of course. Brave. Never hesitating. She saw her opportunity and she took it.

Violet cupped Clementine’s cheek in the palm of her hand, her thumb deftly brushing Clementine’s lips. Violet was ready and willing for the next opportunity, but she wanted Clementine to be there for it too.

Still, she couldn’t deny herself completely. Leaning down Violet softly kissed Clementine’s forehead, before whispering softly into her ear.

“Come back to me Clem.” She begged, her hands running through Clementine’s hair. It was getting longer. “Just come back.”

The latch on the door clicked behind her, and Violet sat up trying to surreptitiously dry her eyes as AJ walked back into the room. Thankfully AJ was too distracted by the armful of books he had brought with him.

“Hey Kiddo,” Violet was relieved when her voice only cracked a little, “What did you get?”

“This one has cool pictures,” AJ said, putting the pile down and picking a book off the top. He handed it to Violet.

“’A History of the Middle Ages?’” she read the title aloud. _Well… It’s not animal husbandry._

“What’s the middle ages?” AJ asked, cocking his head to one side thoughtfully.

“It’s a point in history. A long -long- time ago.” Violet answered, coughing a little to clear her throat. It still felt tight and constricted.

“Before the walkers?” AJ asked.

“Yep, before any of us were even born actually.” Violet said opening the book to a random page. She blinked at the eerily familiar imagery splashed across the pages. Skeletons walking and dancing in the streets.

“I thought you said this was before the wakers?” AJ said, his brow furrowed as he looked and the upside down pictures.

“It was. These are artists drawings of a different disease.” Violet flipped back a few pages to something less topical, before giving out a deep sigh. Seeing the pictures in the book had reminded her of what Tenn had said, about things coming and going in cycles. Her throat grew even tighter.

“Hey,” she coughed, trying to disguise her cracking voice. Damn it, why were her eyes still wet? “I’m a bit tired, why don’t you jump up and read to me. Clem said you needed to keep practicing, didn’t she?”

AJ nodded reluctantly, and climbed onto the bed. It took a moment of organising themselves to get comfortable. Eventually AJ carefully stepped over Clementine’s sleeping form, wedging himself between Clementine and the wall. Violet settled on the other side of the bed, effectively sandwiching Clementine between the two of them. Their backs leaning against the bedhead, AJ opened the book and started reading.

“The.. Cur…cra..”

“Crusades.” Violet corrected automatically, and AJ continued reading, pausing occasionally as he hit an unfamiliar word, which wasn’t as often as Violet would have thought. Shaking her head in disbelief, Violet wondered how, when faced with a daily struggle to survive, Clementine had made time to teach AJ to read.

AJ turned another page, and stumbled on through the sentences. Violet wasn’t really paying attention. She was distracted by the sensation of Clementine’s body pressed against her own. Violet couldn’t help but remember the last time she had been held by someone, but she pushed the memory away. It seemed wrong to be remembering Minnie, in Minnie’s old room, on Minnie’s old bed, while sitting next to Clementine.

She wondered when was the last time Clementine had been held by someone in that way.

_Or if._

Violet reached down and laced her fingers through Clementine’s, allowing herself a moment to enjoy the sensation of skin on skin while AJ continued to read, Violet occasionally correcting him when he got stuck.

“The then king of G…g….” AJ faltered, staring at the unfamiliar word.

“Germany,”

Violet’s mouth snapped shut, she had been about to say the exact same thing, but a dry raspy voice took them both by surprise. Looking down, Violet saw Clementine weakly smiling up at her. Their eyes locked, “Hey you,” Clementine croaked.

Violet opened her mouth to say something, but she dared to hope her words still failed her.

“CLEM!” AJ surged forward and threw his arms around Clementine’s neck, his book forgotten, “You’re awake! You’re talking!” 

“Easy there, Kiddo,” Clementine wheezed, trying to look around his head to meet Violets eyes again, “Let me sit up. I need some water.”

AJ loosened his hold to give her space, but before he could move away Violet swooped in, arms encircling them both as she buried Clementine’s cheeks in an avalanche of kisses. AJ giggled and Clementine grinned as Violet squeezed them both tighter. 

If they noticed her tears, neither of them said anything.

-`-`-`-`-`-`-`-`

“Well I reckon you might be ok,” Ruby briskly brushed her palms against her jeans as she stood up from Clementine’s bedside. “Not completely out of the woods yet, but ok.”

As Ruby moved aside, Violet stepped forward, offering Clementine a bottle of water and a bowl of food. Clementine flashed her a brief smile as she accepted the bottle, but ignored the food, placing on the dresser.

“Sorry it’s not hot,” Violet crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back on the chest of drawers, “I know it’s better-”

“It’s not that,” Clementine murmured, casing a disinterested glance at the food, “I’m just…. Not hungry.”

Violet frowned, and shot a questioning look at Ruby.

“You sure she’s ok?” Violet asked. It had been a few days since Clementine had woken up, and since then she hadn’t eaten more than a few spoonful’s of rice and beans at any one time.

“I’m fine,” Clementine snapped. Startled, Violet glance up at Ruby, who shrugged helplessly. Clementine took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m just… tired. I’ll eat some in a little bit, ok?”

“You better,” Ruby ordered, already putting on her matron’s cape. Violet wondered if it was innate, or if she was trying to emulate their old nurse. “You’re gonna need it if you want to get better. AJ still _needs_ you.”

Rather than having the desired effect, Clementine’s shoulders slumped even further, and her bottle of water sat forgotten in her hand. Violet shot a concerned glance between Clementine and Ruby, not sure what to say. With a deep sigh, Ruby walked towards the bedroom door.

“You got a minute, Violet?” Ruby asked, waiting for a moment for Violet’s affirmative nod before bustling out of the room.

“I’ll be right back,” Violet reached out and squeezed Clementine’s shoulder, before handing her the bowl of food again. “Just, try to eat something, will you? For me?”

Clementine didn’t meet her eye, instead she stared blankly into her lap.

Fighting back the waves, Violet left the bowl beside Clementine, and went out into the hallway to join Ruby.

“What’s going on?” She asked, walking up to stand beside Ruby.

“I’m worried about Clem,” Ruby sighed, staring back at the shut bedroom door.

“You said-”

“I know what I said,” Ruby snapped, raising her voice, and for a moment Violet thought she was about to witness a return of the ‘Ericson Terror.’ “In there I was talking… medically, at least as far as I can figure she is doing alright. But, Violet, now I’m talking mentally. She’s got so much shit on her shoulders I’m surprised her ears don’t stink. Louis losing his tongue, AJ shooting Lilly like that… and Tenn…” Ruby’s voce faltered for a second.

“I’d be dead right now if he didn’t,” Violet said, uncrossing her arms again, “I’m sure of it.”

“I know,” Ruby took a deep breath and continued, “She blames herself for it. For all of it. Her choices led you all to that moment. And to top it all off, she got bitten and lost a leg. You gotta find a way to get her through this Violet, because what I said in there was true. AJ needs her.”

_We all need her._ Violet thought to herself as she watched Ruby walk away. _Maybe that’s part of the problem._

Violet walked back to the bedroom door, resting her hand on the cool metal knob she hesitated. She had no idea what to do. It would be so much easier to ignore it, to turn her head and pretend she didn’t see it. To walk away and make it someone else’s problem.

But she couldn’t do it. Not this time, not to Clementine.

Taking a deep breath, Violet steeled herself and turned the handle.

Clementine smiled at her when she walked through the door, but Violet could see the tearstains on her cheeks where Clementine had tried to hurriedly brush them away. The sight made her chest ache.

“Hey Clem,” Violet smiled, walking across the room, “You feeling ok?”

“I’m fine,” Clementine said, sitting up on her bed. Clementine met her eyes for a brief second, before turning away. Violet shook her head.

Clementine was a horrible liar.

Violet leaned against the bunk post, casting her mind around for something to say. The silence hung thick in the air. Finding the right thing to say never did come easy to her.

Clementine suddenly frowned, and thrust out a finger to the pile of bedding on the floor.

“What are they doing there?” she asked, sounding almost annoyed.

“Ah, sorry.” Violet rushed to pick them all up. She hadn’t realised how much of a neat freak Clementine was, “They’re mine. I thought- well, just while you were getting better, I thought I might-” Violet wondered if her blush was as severe as it felt.

“Oh,” Clementine blinked slowly as Violet rushed to gather her blankets, “I thought AJ was sleeping on the floor again. I told him we were safe here….” Clementine trailed off, her eyes drifting down to the bandaged stump just below her knee. “I told him we were safe.”

“Ah shit,” Violet breathed to herself, and Clementine looked back at her. Violet dropped her blankets and pillow, walked over and pointed to a space on the mattress beside Clementine, “Mind if I sit down?”

Clementine shook her head and Violet sat, being careful to ensure she didn’t jostle the bed too much as she did.

“I’m sorry Clementine,” Violet smiled sadly at her, not knowing how else to start. “I’ve never been good at this talking shit. But I’ve always been good at listening.”

Clementine didn’t say anything for a moment, and Violet was already casting her mind around for something else reassuring to say, before Clementine suddenly found her voice.

“This is it for me now,” Clementine sounded resigned her eyes once again fixated on her stump. “No matter how I approach it, whatever angle I look at it. This is it. I’m not going to make it anywhere else. When Ericson falls, I’ll fall with it.”

“When?” Violet frowned, “What makes you think Ericson is going to ‘fall?’ It’s lasted this long.”

“It always lasts… until it doesn’t.” Clementine cast Violet a withering look, and the bitterness in her voice took Violet aback, “it all falls, eventually.”

“You don’t mean that,” Violet interrupted. She hoped Clementine didn’t mean it is least, but the certainty with which Clementine spoke chilled her. 

“It’s inevitable, like waves crashing on the shore. The best you can ask for is a few brief moments of calm between each wave, and hope that you’re strong enough to make it over the next one. With this,” Clementine gestured at her leg, “I’m done. Next wave to crash… I’ll drown.” 

“I won’t let that happen,” Violet said determinedly, grabbing Clementine’s shoulders. “Clem, if shit does hit the fan, I won’t leave you here. But that doesn’t matter because I won’t let this place fail. I promise you, I won’t.”

Clementine shrugged her off, albeit gently.

“Sometimes you don’t have a choice in how it goes,” Clementine stared a her coldly, and Violet got the impression her mind was casting back to some distant time and place, “When you’re left with an option between running to survive and trying to save someone weak, trying to save someone who will only slow you down… you’ll understand then. I’m the liability now …again.”

Clementine’s voice was cold, and distant. It was clear to Violet she was speaking from lived experience. Violet shivered.

“I’m not going to leave you, Clementine,” Violet promised.

“Last time I was this weak I got someone I loved killed,” Clementine threw the blankets over her leg in disgust, and avoided looking back down at her stump again.

“I’m not going to leave you,” Violet repeated, her jaw tightening.

_What if you don’t have a choice?_

The thought lingered in the back of her mind, and Violet was sure Clementine was thinking the same thing. But Violet had made her promise, and planned to do everything she could to keep it. 

Clementine opened and closed her mouth a few times, before finally shaking her head and gesturing to the pile of books on the floor.

“Why don’t you just read to me for a bit?” She asked.

“Um, Sure,” Violet reached down to the pile of books, “Do you have a preference?”

“No,” Clem shook her head, lying flat on her back and covering her eyes with her arm, “I just want to listen to your voice.”

Violet was happy to oblige, in part because it got them off their depressing topic. She looked at the pile of books, trying to decide which one to read. Eventually she picked at random, pulling a book out from the bottom of the pile.

_Animal husbandry? Really!?_

Violet tossed the book into the opposite corner of the room, where is landed with loud slap on the wooden floor. Clementine lifted her hear and looked askance at Violet. When Violet didn’t explain Clementine lay back down.

Violet tried again, this time picking up a novel with funky blue cover art depicting a small boy standing beside a tiger. She hoped the tiger didn’t end up biting anyone’s arm off in it. She flipped through a few pages, but it looked pretty tame. With a shrug Violet sat back down beside Clementine, opened the book and started reading.

“‘Ben crept stealthily down the hillside, picking his way between the boulders and young gums…’” Violet read aloud.

She was still reading when the sun began to set, and her voice grew dry. Violet glanced over at Clementine, her eyes going wide with shock when she saw tears silently streaming down Clementine’s face.

Violet’s eyes shot back to the book, now trembling in her hands. She cursed herself silently. How long had Clementine been crying? Her mind scrambled, trying to think of what she should do. Why did she find this so hard? It would be easier if she could just…

Violet grit her teeth and closed the book.

This wasn’t about what was easy.

“Clem?” Violet softly asked, laying down beside her and tentatively placing an arm around Clementine’s shoulders. When Clementine didn’t pull back Violet held her closer, “What can I do?”

“It’s nothing….” Clementine choked back her sobs, “I’m fine.”

“I think we both know that’s not true,” Violet squeezed her gently, reaching up to wipe the tears from her cheeks, “So if you want to, we can talk about it. But if you don’t, then we can just sit here a while and I’ll hold you, for as long as you need.”

Clementine buried her face into Violet’s shoulder, her body shaking silently as she tried to suppress her tears. Violet didn’t know what to say, but the idea of leaving Clementine to cry made Violet’s chest constrict, and she knew she had to stay. Instead, Violet whispered platitudes, promising Clementine it would all be ok, that it would get better and other empty promises Violet wasn’t sure were true.

“I’ve got you,” Violet whispered, “I’m here. We can stay here as long as you need.”

And that’s what they did.

And when the tears soaked through Violet’s shirt, she didn’t say anything.


	6. Chapter 6

Violet cracked an eye lid and groggily looked around the room. Through the dim morning light she could see AJ’s sleeping form in the bed opposite, and beside her, curled up into the crook of her arm, was Clementine’s restful face.

She had fallen asleep reading to them again.

Glancing down at the floor Violet could see a discarded book, and with a pang of frustration realised she had lost her place. She resigned herself to trying to find her page later, Violet didn’t want to move just yet. The feeling of Clementine curled up under Violet’s arm, sleeping beside her, was too sweet.

After that first night, when Clementine had fallen asleep crying in her arms, Violet had made a habit of visiting Clementine every afternoon. Though they hadn’t had a repeat of the tears, Violet could tell Clementine was holding onto her pain tightly, unwilling to let it show.

Violet was doing her best to be there for her, but between foraging and hunting for food, checking on in everyone, and doing her best to reign in some of the more wildly outlandish traps Willy came up with, Violet ended each day feeling exhausted.

At the end of each weary day, Violet found herself wistfully thinking of the empty double bed in the upstairs office that Marlon had once claimed as his own. After a day managing the tiny details collectively added up to their shared survival, the idea of just being alone for a moment was the closest Violet all Violet could think of.

But, as Violet’s foot fell onto the first step of the main staircase, her mind would inevitably turn to thoughts of Clementine, alone in her bedroom. The others all made sure to visit her when they had time. Ruby saw her at least once a day to help change the bandages, and Aasim had taken her a few of his favourite books. Omar mostly brought her lunch, which Clementine thankfully mostly ate now. Even Louis would visit her, his once bright and cocky grins now tinged with pale despair.

Still, Violet could tell the isolation and slow healing process was starting to get to Clementine. And, inevitably, Violet would turn from the ornate staircase and make her way to the dorms on the lower level.

The smile on Clementine’s face always let her know she had made the right decision. And in those smiles Violet knew an empty bed, even if it was a double, would never compare to that sort of bliss.

Violet would lay down on the bed beside Clementine, and pass the time, either reading or discussing what she had worked on for the day. Invariably they would drift off to sleep, holding each other, Violet always mindful to avoid jostling Clementine’s injured leg.

Violet was glad she could be there to comfort Clementine. And comfort was all it had been, so far. Violet got the impression that Clementine had still been processing her loss, and hadn’t been ready for anything else.

But as glad as she was, Violet couldn’t deny the regular proximity was starting to erode her willpower.

_Hell Vi, it’s starting to infiltrate your every thought. And not just the waking ones…_

Flashes of Clementine’s breasts pressed firm against her own, her flushed cheeks as she leant down and whispered Violet’s name, her hand snaking down between their bodies as she... Violet felt a jolt of excitement shoot through her. Distinct moments from her dream the night before. Violet shifted uncomfortably, and cast Clementine a cautious stare.

_I really hope I don’t talk in my sleep._

Violet reached up to trace Clementine’s lips with her fingertips, but instead let her hand drop. Already thoughts on what needed to be done that day if they wanted to stay alive had started to force their way into her brain, and list upon list was forming in her head.

There was too much to do, and not enough people to do it.

And not enough time.

Never enough damn time.

With a sigh Violet gently untangled herself from Clementine, being careful not to wake her up or touch her stump.

Something had to change. They couldn’t keep running the school like they still had Brodie, Marlon, Mitch and Tenn. They barely had enough people to maintain the hunting and fishing let alone defend the place. They needed to do something to make it easier and take some of the pressure off.

Violet just didn’t know what that was.

Violet unconsciously brushed the creases from her jeans as she slipped out of the bed. She slid her shoes on, threw one last look at Clementine, and slipped out the door. Her first order of business would be to check and reset the snares. If that was a bust Violet would have to spend the afternoon fishing.

As she made her way down the dim hallway towards the main entrance, she bumped into Ruby coming out of the room they were using to house their scavenged supplies.

“Hey Vi, you got a minute?” Ruby asked, fumbling with the packets of bandages in her arms.

“Yeah sure, you need a hand?” Violet asked, crouching down and picking up one of the gauze bandages Ruby had just dropped, “These for Clem?”

“Thanks,” Ruby said gratefully as Violet help her shuffle her load around until it was more manageable, “No, I’ll make time to check on Clem later, I was just re-stocking our first aid kit. That’s actually what I need to talk about. We burning through the medical supplies you got from the Delta wreck two weeks ago. We’re gonna need more, eventually. You reckon you could make another run out there?”

“I’ll put it on the list,” Violet tried to hid her grimace, already doing the mental arithmetic of juggling and prioritising her lists, trying to figure out when she would have the time. Maybe she could ask Aasim and Louis to go. “We got enough to get through the next little bit?”

“Yeah,” Ruby nodded, falling in step beside Violet as they walked towards the front entrance and out into the quad, “I just think we should bolster our supplies before winter really hits. Plus, the longer we leave it out there, the higher change we might lose it to someone or something else. Flooding will cost us those supplies faster than any scavenger could.”

“I’m on it,” Violet nodded, picking up one of the bows they kept on a hook near the front door.

“There’s one more thin...” Ruby hesitated.

“What is it?” Violet tried to stop the impatience colouring her voice. _Too much to do._

“Well, now that we’re all back, and Clementine’s doing better,” Ruby shrugged, nearly sending her precarious pile of bandages toppling to the floor, “I thought we would have a bit of a… you know, victory party.”

“I don’t know…” Violet had trouble buying into the image of the triumphant victory Ruby was trying to sell her. Was it really even a victory? They had lost so much. And with so much work to do, spending time on party prep instead of food, water, and medical supplies seemed wasteful, and extravagant. But the hopeful look on Ruby’s face broke her resolve, “Fine, but don’t go all out, some music and snacks, maybe get AJ to draw something.”

Satisfied, Ruby nodded and disappeared back into the building. Violet reached for a handful of arrows, her fingers deftly taking stock. Only nine left. Another problem to add to her list.

Violet made it halfway across the courtyard, before someone else was calling her name. Violet turned to see Omar waving her down.

“Omar? Can this wait?” Violet asked, throwing a sideways glance at the gate.

“We got an issue with the dry goods,” Omar said, his limp almost imperceptible now, “We’re missing a whole bunch of food from the pantry.”

Violet frowned.

_Missing?_

With a defeated sigh Violet returned her bow to its hook and followed Omar down into what had once been the school’s kitchen.

“Here,” Omar held up a sack, a few stray dry beans falling from the shredded burlap sack to the floor, “You think we got a thief?”

“What we have is a rat,” Violet rolled her eyes at him. Omar had been raised in the suburbs, his parents had been banking investors, before he fell in with a bad crowd and had been shipped off to Ericson for his own good. Violet didn’t really know what banking investors did, but they must have been rich if Omar didn’t recognise the tell-tale signs of rat droppings. Violet remembered them all too well from her own childhood.

“A rat?” he asked, staring at the bag, “So… we need a trap?”

“Maybe,” Violet said, getting down on the ground to inspect the bags of food, “Did it get much food?”

Omar shrugged, and together he and Violet went about shifting the bags of food around, checking for any signs betraying the presence of a serious infestation. It took them some time to go through each bag, and in the process of moving everything in the store room around they came across several nests.

“We can’t keep the food down here, not until we get rid of these little fuckers.” Violet spat, after the fourth rat scurried across her foot, “We’ll move it upstairs somewhere for now, and get Willy to start working on some traps.”

They hauled the jars and sacks of rice, beans, and various other grains up the stairs, locking them in an old unused dorm room. Violet wasn’t sure it would do much good though. The rats would probably find it again, eventually. They had to cut the problem out at its source.

She found Willy and let him know what she needed him to do, stressing that in no way, under any circumstances, was he to resort to explosives in order to deal with their little rat problem.

Dejected, but still happy to have a project to work on, Willy jostled off to devise a plan. Omar came back to her with the final count. They had lost two bags of beans, and one of lentils. Violet should have been relieved it was so little. Still, she couldn’t help but think about how many meals that was. How many nights they might go hungry in the future?

Violet’s stomach was growling by the time she finally picked her bow back up and walked out the front gates of Ericson, at last able to check on the snares. She tried to ignore it, but the constant grumble kept reminding her it was already lunch time and she had skipped breakfast.

The moment the gates swung shut behind her, Violet felt it the cloak of safety drop from her shoulders. All at once her senses went into overdrive, as she took continuous stock of her surroundings. She was balancing barefoot on a razors edge. One wrong move and she would be sliced to pieces.

With a deep breath Violet picked her way through the forest, careful to dodge the traps they had set up to take care of the walkers. They had a total of seven snares set up in different parts of the woods, the first six of which were empty. Violet checked if they needed resetting, and moved on to the last.

“Shit,” Violet hissed, as she notched an arrow and crouched down. A wet, slurping snarl filled the air. Carefully moving forward, Violet peered through the brush. There was a walker, clawing into the soft warm stomach of a rabbit caught in the snare.

 _Their_ snare. _Their_ rabbit.

Violets blood boiled.

“You fucking, fucking, FUCK!” she yelled the last, causing the walker to turn away from the still twitching rabbit leg is had just been eating to face her. Violet didn’t care. She dropped her bow, instead picking up a nearby rock the size of her head.

Violet fell upon the walker before it could completely turn its in her direction, her first swing splintering its skull. It crumpled to the ground immediately, dead. But Violet wasn’t done with it. Raising the rock above her head she slammed it down onto the walker, this time caving in its face. Swing after swing, Violet unleashed her wrath upon it, sending flecks of blood arcing through the air.

“You, fucking….idiot!” Violet emphasised each word with another swing, ignore the smell as droplets splattered her face.

Finally, panting and arms trembling, Violet dropped the stone. It fell to the ground with a heavy thud. Wearily Violet stumbled over to the snare. It was freshly killed.

“You stupid fucking… fuck...” Violet panted, staring at the dead walker and the rabbit.

_If I’d just come out earlier…_

She had let herself get distracted. Spent too much time fucking around...

Shaking her head Violet wiped her face on the shoulder of her jacket, only managing to smear the blood splattered across her cheeks.

“Done is done,” She told herself as she tried to let it go, but a hard ball of anger still nestled in her chest.

She reset the snare and set off back to Ericson at a quick pace. AJ was on watch, and Violet ignored the concerned look he shot her as she walked back through the gates covered in blood. She kept walking straight past Willy who wanted to show her a prototype rat trap, and didn’t stop until up the stairs in the old headmaster’s office.

Rustling through the draws she pulled out the maps Marlon had asked Tenn to draw up. They were next to useless really, they didn’t even depict the school’s old stables on them, but they were better than nothing.

She had to come up with a plan. Something to make it easier. Something to give them some hope of a future. She stared at the small hand drawn maps, trying to figure out a way out of it all. With a frustrated sigh, she leaned back in the headmaster’s old leather padded chair. Pushing herself away from the desk the chair rolled back smoothly across the wooden floor.

This was getting her nowhere. Clementine was the only one with any real working knowledge of other settlements, of surviving on the road. If she was going to come up with a plan, Violet would need Clementine’s input.

Violet gathered the maps together and rolled them into a small bundle, before existing the office and making her way to Clementine’s door.

Face to face with the wooden door, Violet hesitated, a blush rising in her cheeks as she was struck by a vivid memory of last time she had barged unannounced into Clementine’s room in the middle of the day.

Ruby had just finished changing Clementine’s bandage, and had been helping her get her pants back on when Violet and rushed through the door, a new book in hand. The memory of Clementine’s strong well-defined thighs made Violet’s heart hitch, and her pace quicken, just as it had back then. At the time Clementine hadn’t seemed to notice, but Violet had still apologised and left the room.

As much as she had enjoyed the show, not to mention the subsequent memories, Violet decide randomly barging through the door in the hopes of catching a glimpse of a half-naked Clementine was what probably would have been described as a ‘bit of a dick-move’ back in the day.

_Or a fully naked…_

Violet grinned despite herself, and rested her burning face against the cool hard service of the door.

_She’s not ready, she’s still healing. Give her some time._

Violet took a dee calming breath before she tentatively knocked, and waited a moment. After a second, she heard a heavy thud and a shout of pain. Forgetting her hesitation, Violet rushed through the door.

“Shit!” Clementine hissed in pain and bawled up on the floor nursing her injured leg, “fucking… shit.”

“You ok?” Violet dropped the maps on the desk and rushed to Clementine’s side, “What happened?”

“I fucking forgot,” Clementine laughed bitterly, tears of pain in the corner of her eyes, “I fucking forgot.”

“Forgot what,” Violet asked, sliding her arms under Clementine’s shoulder to help her back to her bed. Clementine hissed in pain as she settled herself back onto the bedding.

“For a moment, it didn’t hurt,” she said through grit teeth, clutching at her leg, “I forgot it wasn’t there. When you knocked, I just stood up to walk over to open the door, and fell flat on my own stupid ass.”

Violet didn’t know what to say.

As usual.

It could have been amusing, she supposed, if not for the fact that Clementine was clearly in pain, and dejectedly looking at her stump. Instead Violet did her best to make Clementine comfortable, fluffing up pillows and trying to get Clementine to lay down. Clementine ignored her.

“Scars are cooler than stumps…” Clementine murmured softly, after a minute.

“Sorry?” Violet asked, crouching beside the bed.

“Just something someone told me once,” Clementine shook her head.

“Well they didn’t know shit then,” Violet had meant to be encouraging, but Clementine just clenched her fists.

“It’s true,” she hissed between clenched teeth, “Scars don’t stop you from fighting. They don’t stop you from helping your friends. They don’t stop you from running when it all turns to shit. I use to think that the loss of a finger was bad. One of the most inconvenient things that could happen. Turns out it ain’t shit compared to a foot. I’ve never felt so hopeless…so fucking useless in my life. Not since Savannah.”

_Savannah?_

Not for the first time, Violet realised just how little she knew of Clementine’s past. 

“We’ll figure something out,” even as Violet said it, she knew it was a weak response.

“You don’t get it,” Clementine muttered, and Violet knew she was right. How could she? Violet had never even lost so much as a finger, let alone a leg.

“Like right now,” Clementine continued, “I just want to get up and leave. Go hide in a bathroom or something, and just cry it out. But I can’t. Not alone. Not without help. I can’t even make it to the god damn door without someone helping me.” Clementine squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m done running now. When it turns to shit, I’m done.”

It reminded Violet why she had come to visit Clementine in the first place. She wasn’t so sure about asking now. She cast a glance at the door, wondering if she should just leave. She wanted to. But something was pulling her back to Clementine’s side, making Violet feel like she had to fix it.

“Hey, what did I say the other day? Texas Two isn’t going to crumble now.” Violet insisted, and for a moment she wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince, “This place is ours, and we got to fight to keep it. If the gate breaks, we fix it, if the walls crumble, we build them back up. And if anyone comes to take it, take you or AJ, I’ll kill them myself.”

Clementine didn’t respond. Violet wasn’t sure she had even heard her. Instead she stared despondently at her stump.

Violet sighed. Inspirational speeches had never been her strength, but she had hoped to at least get a reaction out of Clementine. Violet didn’t blame her though. She didn’t even know how to begin to understand what Clementine was going through.

“I’m… I’m sorry Clem, I’ll give you some space.” Violet felt ashamed having ever even considered asking for Clementine’s help making Ericson a safer, more sustainable place. Clementine had enough to deal with. It was up to Violet to make the ream of Texas Two an ongoing reality. Violet made to leave the room, but Clementine suddenly reached out and grabbed Violets hand, stopping her.

“Stay,” she said suddenly, “I may be an asshole right now, but I still like your company.” Violet turned to face her, and Clementine furrowed her brow. It was the first time Clementine had really taken in Violet’s appearance. Clementine frowned at her, “You’re covered in walker blood.”

“Yeah,” Violet sighed, staring down at her front. Her jacket was going to need a wash. “I ran into one while checking the snares.”

“Ruby left a jug and bowl, if you want to clean up.” Clementine gestured to the desk.

“Sure,” Violet took her jacket off, and threw it into the corner, she would wash it down by the river later. She poured the contents of the jug into the bowl and did her best to scrub her hands and face clean with the cold water, intently aware of Clementine’s eyes watching her as she went.

“Better?” Violet gave a fault grin as she turned to face Clementine.

“Much,” Clementine smiled back, but Violet got the impression there was some deep calculations going on behind those eyes, “You’re here earlier than usual. Ruby hasn’t even been to check on me today, and you’re already here. What’s on your mind?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Violet shrugged, crossing her arms tight, “I saw AJ was on watch and thought you might be lonely, just thought I’d come check in.”

Clementine’s eyes narrowed, and Violet knew she wasn’t buying it.

“One walker, you said?” Clementine asked, and Violet nodded, “That was a lot of blood for one walker. Messy kill?”

Violet nodded again, unable to meet Clementine’s eyes.

She wished she could think of something to say. The silence was clawing at the edges of her skin, making her nervous.

“Tell me the truth.” The blunt request took Violet by surprise, though it probably shouldn’t have. Clementine always did have a way of being direct. Violet hugged herself tighter.

“I’m just not having a good day.” Violet muttered, “There is too much to do, and no one to do it. I’m… tired.”

Clementine kept staring at her, content to wait until Violet answered her properly.

_She asked for the truth._

Violet’s shoulders slumped, and she gave in to Clementine’s demanding eyes.

“I came down to ask for your help.” Violet finally made herself meet Clementine’s stare, “But, you clearly have enough-”

“My help?” Clementine looked surprised, “You want my help?”

“Of course,” Violet nodded, “You’re the only one who has any real survival experience. We need you. None of us has had to face what you have, and if we really are going to keep this place standing, we need your help. But I can tell you’ve got a lot on your mind right now, so we can talk about it later.”

Clementine scrutinised her for a second, before flashing her a quick smile that made Violet’s heart futter. One of the first genuine ‘Clementine smiles’ Violet had seen in a while.

“Like you said, you lasted this long, that counts for something,” Clementine said, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, “But I’m happy to be…I’m happy to help. Here, help me stand up.”

Violet helped her stand. It was an awkward balancing act on the one leg, and Clementine struggled to stay upright.

“Here,” Violet swooped in, wrapping an arm around Clementine, “You can lean on me, if you have to.”

Clementine accepted her arm, and with Violet’s help was able to make it to the desk at the end of AJ’s bed. Panting slightly, she leaned back on the desk, holding on to the bedpost for balance.

“Well so much for my good intentions,” Clementine panted slightly, “What did you need from me anyway? If it involves a long-distance foot race, I’m afraid you’re out of luck.”

“Come on now, you could still compete in a foot race, a ‘feet’ race on the other hand....” Violet smiled cheekily, she couldn’t help herself. She threw the lame joke out before she even realised what she was saying. Rather than looking shocked, or outraged, Clementine chucked, and punched Violet’s arm gently.

“That might be the worst joke anyone has ever told.” Clementine shook her head, but Violet was elated to see the soft smile on her face. “Seriously, in the history of all jokes. The worst one. Now what did you need help with?”

“Survival,” Violet sighed, showing Clementine the hand drawn maps on the table, “If we are going stay here indefinitely, we need to do more with the place. You’ve seen a lot of other settlements, like you said, and we can’t let Ericson fail. I wanted your advice on what we should do next.”

Clementine wobbled around until she managed to turn and face the desk. She bit the inside of her cheek as she scrutinised the drawings, “I’m not an expert at building settlements, and I don’t want anyone thinking I’m trying to take over as the leader of this place. But I can give you my opinion, if you want.”

“Definitely want it.” Violet nodded, moving to stand close bedside Clementine and examine the maps. Violet didn’t like thinking of herself as a leader either, but she knew she was more or less the best Ericson was going to get for a while. She also knew good leaders were meant to take advice from people who knew more than them.

“It would help if we got some better maps. Real ones, from before the outbreak. They would have more details of the surrounding area.” Her finger pointed to the now very familiar train station, “I saw a map on the wall at the train station. We should go out and grab it.”

“Go beyond the safe zone?” Violet pretended to be aghast, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Clementine didn’t laugh, only looked at her seriously.

“I thought by now you knew there was no such thing as a safe zone.” She said, meeting Violet’s eyes, “You had walkers in the green house, and Marlon called it safe? We were in the safe zone when Able and Lilly-”

“I get it,” Violet muttered, interrupting Clementine. Startled, Clementine paused and Violet tried to push down her resentment, she had been the one to ask for Clementine’s help after all. Still, seeing a list of her own mistakes laid out in front of her wasn’t easy to acknowledge.

“We’ll do better.” Violet said gently, and was relieved when Clementine took her Violet’s hand in her own.

“We will.” Clementine agreed, “We should make better use of the greenhouse for growing food. When winter hits…” Clementine spoke on, and together they talked through some of the more urgent problems facing Ericson.

As Clementine spoke, Violet started to feel relieved. Even though every suggestion just made the mental list of things she had to do even longer, if felt like they were starting to formulate a plan that might turn Ericson into something more than it had ever been under Marlon’s leadership.

 _It’s more than that,_ Violet realised as she unconsciously leaned closer to Clementine as realisation suddenly hit her, _I’m not alone in this. Not while she’s here._

After a while, Clementine’s voice started to waiver, and she was leaned forward on the desk for support.

“You ok?” Violet asked, taking a step towards Clementine, placing a hand at the small of her back to steady her.

“Yeah, just hard to stand on one leg for so long. Help me up?” Clementine slapped the surface of the desk, and Violet realised she wanted to sit down.

“Alright, turn around,” Violet waited for Clementine to twist around, her back towards the desk. Moving in close, Violet wrapped her arms around Clementine’s waist.

“Hold on tight,” Violet whispered into Clementine’s ear. Violet knew she wouldn’t drop her, she wasn’t even lifting her that high, but the thrill that shot through her as Clementine’s arms circled round her neck and shoulders made her want to hold on tighter.

Lifting her up, Violet sat Clementine down gently on top of the desk. Violet stood in front of the desk, and Clementine’s legs dangled off the edge either side of her. Violet held Clementine for a moment, relishing the feeling of their arms entangled around each other.

“Thank you,” Clementine’s whisper was so quiet Violet hadn’t been sure she had really heard it.

“For what?” Violet looked up into Clementine’s face, and their eyes locked. Violets heart was pounding as she glanced down at Clementine’s lips.

“For reminding me,” Clementine smiled at her. Confused, Violet moved to step back, but with a smirk Clementine refused to let her go, and instead pulled her into a kiss.

It stole her breath and left her hot. Clementine’s arms tightened around her neck as she pulled Violet in close. Violet couldn’t help grinning. It was their first real kiss since before the attack on the Delta. She had been waiting for that moment. Dreaming of it. But Violet had wanted to wait until the time was right to do something more than just hold and comfort each other.

But as always, Clementine’s decisiveness stole the show.

Violet’s wrapped her arms around Clementine’s waist, deepening the kiss as she pulled Clementine forward to the edge of the desk, firm against her own body. Clementine’s wrapped her legs around Violet, her hips urging Violet forward.

Trembling, Violet’s hands made their way up from Clementine’s waist, tentatively pushing below the hem of her shirt. Clementine shivered as Violet’s fingers brushed against the warm skin at the base of her spine.

Her lips still caught in the rapture of Clementine’s kiss, Violet dazedly realised Clementine had let go of her shoulders, her hands fumbling with the buckle of Violets belt. Clementine managed to loosen the belt, her fingers moving deftly to the top button of Violet’s pants. Violet gasped as Clementine’s fingers slipped past the rough fabric of her jeans, and brushed against the hair beneath.

The rattling of the doorknob was the only warning they had, but it was still enough for them to break apart from each other. Violet turned away from the door, surreptitiously re-buckling her belt, just in time for Ruby to walk through the door, fresh bandage in hand.

“Hey Clem-oh!” Ruby paused, looked back and forth between Clementine and Violet, the latter still trying to calm her breathing. Between the three of them, their combined blush could have generated enough heat to keep Ericson Academy warm for the entire winter.

Ruby kept looking between the two of them, before finally saying, “As much as I would like to give you two some space, AJ just got off watching and I heard him say he was about to come visit you, Clementine. Besides, I really need to check on that leg of yours before you two go off-”

“I’ll…” Violet cleared her throat, “I’ll come back later.”

Violet made he way to the door as Ruby walked into the room, she paused at the door and turned back. Her eyes locked with Clementine’s, who was smirking at her past Ruby’s head. that smile her promises Violet had only dreamed of…

Violet shivered slightly.

_Oh, I will definitely be coming back later._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know why the notes from chapter one keep showing up at the end of my most recent chapters. I should probably read some instructions. 
> 
> Well with my last essay for the term done, and only one exam on the horizon, I am hoping to have the last few chapters drafted in the next week or so. I hope you all enjoyed this one.


	7. Chapter 7

Violet hooked her bow into place and tossed the remainder of her arrows in the nearby container. Only seven now. Number eight had snapped at the tip when Violet had missed her target, instead striking hard stone, and number nine was at that moment enjoying its new life in what had to be the thickest blackberry patch Violet had ever come across.

Still, the hare slung over her shoulder was proof the day hadn’t been a total loss. The discovery of the blackberry patch was also a nice surprise, even if it had claimed one of her arrows. It was too late in the season to find any fruit, but by next summer Violet was willing to bet a whole quiver of arrows the bush would be thick with berries.

“Three coming in!” Willy shouted from his perch atop the tower.

Violet turned to see Omar, Louis, and Aasim coming back through the gates. Violet was grateful to see them both smiling, their backpacks bulging with supplies from the Delta wreck. As much as Violet hated asking them to go out there again, she had to admit Clementine had been right. Violet couldn’t do everything alone, and had to be willing to delegate from time to time. Even if it was a risky job…

_Would Clem have taken her own advice?_

Violet wasn’t so sure

“Get what we need?” Violet asked, taking Omar’s backpack and tossing him the hare. She didn’t wait for his response and unzipped the pack, conducting her own quick inventory. Louis nudged her, and Violet looked up.

_‘Rude.’_ There was no mistaking his expression, and sheepishly Violet re-zipped the bag.

“Nice work guys, are you all ok?” Violet amended.

“Yeah, we’re good.” Omar shrugged, inspecting the hare closely, evidently pleased with it he gave it a satisfied nod.

“What about the maps?” Violet asked. She was desperate for more maps of the area. They needed to start scavenging further afield if they were going to make it through the winter. Wordlessly, Louis crouched down and started rummaging through his own backpack, before handing Violet a few folded up wads of paper.

“This it?” Violet asked unfolding one. It was of the local area, but it didn’t have much detail. Violet quickly looked at the legend inscribed on the bottom of the map. 1:50,000. Not that useful for her needs, unless she was going long distance. She hoped the others papers in her little bundle were more promising.

“I think that’s it from the wreck,” Aasim shifted the straps of his pack, “Except for building materials. We might want to take a wagon and some tools down tomorrow, pry off any of the sheet metal. Might make some good fortifications. Willy can come with us for that.”

Louis looked back and forth between Omar and Aasim for a moment, before rolling his eyes and grunting in annoyance. He reached out and shook Aasim’s shoulder.

“What?” Aasim looked confused for a moment, while Louis put his hands side by side, palms facing up and wiggling his fingers in the air. “Oh yeah. We saw some smoke in the distance.”

“Where?” Violet’s eyes shot towards him with a razor-sharp focus.

“East,” Aasim shrugged, ignoring Violet’s frown, “It looked like a long way off. Probably just someone passing through-”

“You can’t assume that!” Violet snapped, “Did you keep an eye out for anyone following you?”

All three of them looked taken aback, but none of them offered an answer.

“Well? Did you?” she pushed them for an answer, “Did you at least stop and hide? Wait to see if anyone caught up to you?”

Again her question was met with silent, embarrassed looks.

_That would be a no._

“Shit! Are you guys serious?” Violet hissed, “What if you lead someone back here? Just because we’re done with the Delta crew doesn’t mean they won’t send anyone down here to find out what happened to them. What if you were spotted? Did you even try to cover your tracks?”

_Did you, when you went out hunting?_

Violet squished the small voice in the back of her mind. This wasn’t about her.

“Hey-”

“That’s not-”

Even Louis looked like he was ready to argue back. Instead he shook his head, pointed at the ground, crossed his wrists, and pointed at the gates. It took Violet a moment to realise what he meant.

“We fought them before, we can again?” Violet asked and Louis nodded. Violet took a deep breath and turned around. She eyed the woods beyond the academy gates warily.

Ruby walked over to the group, before any of them had the chance to respond.

“What’s got you all looking so tense?” she asked, casting them an exaggerated side-eye, “Should I come back later?”

“I think we should cancel the party tonight,” Violet turned away from the gates to address the group. As one they launched into their own protest at her suggestion, each of them clamouring over each other to change her mind.

“What in hell for?” Ruby finally managed to make herself heard over the general din, “I’ve just finished the… catering.” Ruby rushed her sentence, and Violet got the feeling she had been about to say something else. “Not to mention AJ has been making posters all afternoon, and a banner.”

“The posters will wait, and we can eat the food for dinner,” Violet countered, “It’s too much of a risk for us play music and party, not to mention leaving the gates unwatched.”

“But why?” Ruby pushed back, “What happened?”

Violet explained the situation, trying not to snap whenever Omar or Aasim spoke over the top of her. Between the three of them and Louis occasionally trying to sign something at them, it took them three times as long to explain it to Ruby. But finally, Ruby got the picture.

“Well...” Ruby bit her cheek thoughtfully, “I mean… I dunno Violet, I gotta side with the boys on this one.”

Violet opened her mouth to argue, but Ruby held up her hands, stalling any argument.

“Now hold your hollering, just hear me out,” she begged. Reluctantly Violet shut her mouth, and nodded for Ruby to continue, “Now all we know is there was some smoke out there. Doesn’t mean it was a campfire, could have been anything. Now I get being cautious, we should post a watch in the tower to keep an eye out. What I don’t get is being _overly_ cautious. If we don’t see anything by tonight, I say we party.”

“No,” Violet shook her head, “The forest is too thick, even from the tower we won’t see anyone whose out there unless we’re lucky.”

“Vi…” Ruby looked at the others for inspiration before turning back and changing tac, “This will be a great opportunity to get Clem out and about and-”

“Don’t.” Violet warned. The idea of anyone, even Ruby, using Clementine as a bargaining chip against her was borderline infuriating.

“-AND,” Ruby continued, “She needs it. She’s been in her room all this time and hardly sees anyone else except you and AJ. She needs a reminder that she isn’t done living yet, and I can’t think of a better reminder than this party.”

“’This’ party?” Violet narrowed her eyes, “What’s so special about ‘this’ party?”

“Well-” Ruby looked back to the boys, her all studiously looked away, before answering Violet, “You know, we just want to… say thank you.”

It sounded like a pretty weak reason to Violet. Her thoughts must have shown on her face, because Ruby continued.

“Look, we _all_ need this. Shit’s been bad, but we’re still here. We need something to remind us why that is.”

Violet stared at them for a moment, each of them silently pleading with her to give in. After a moment, she reluctantly surrendered with a nod.

“Fine,” she groaned, and they collectively perked up. Even Louis let out a little whoop of joy, “Fine! But I’m going up to the top tower now to go on watch. First hint of anything and we call it. No party. Agree?”

“With everything except you s _taying_ on watch. You can go have a look if you need, but you gotta swap out before the party. You got a more important job.” Ruby pointed a pale finger at her, “You gotta make sure the guest of honour shows up.”

\- - - - - -

Violet jumped from the splintered wood of the window frame and landed heavily on the metal walkway. The frame shook, causing dust and loose stones to tumble down into the ruined shell of the tower.

Violet watched them fall, bouncing of old timber frames until they finally hit the bottom. She would have to do something to re-enforce the walkway, otherwise one day Violet would jump over and the whole thing would crumble, and she would end up being the one ‘tumbling down.’ Exactly what she would do though, she wasn’t sure. She may have been able to set a snare, but she was a far call from being a civil engineer.

Violet peered down to the bottom of the tower, where she started her climb.

“I wonder if I’ll ever be able to get Clementine back up her,” she muttered to herself. She knew the answer was ‘probably not,’ and was disappointed. They had shared their first kiss in that tower, and now it was yet another place Clementine couldn’t come back to. Maybe they could figure out something with ropes and pullies. 

Her mind went back to their conversation in Clementine’s bedroom. Clementine wasn’t useless. Violet felt like spitting at the mere suggestion of it. But there was no use lying to herself either. If something did happen to Ericson, Clementine suddenly had a lot lower chance of getting out of there alive. If another Delta crew came by, or a herd of walkers…

Violet shivered and didn’t let herself finish the thought. Clementine had been bitten once. Violet wasn’t about to let it happen again. 

Turning east, Violet’s eyes scanned the tree line. She couldn’t see anything at first, until she pulled her binoculars from their casing and put them to her eyes.

There, well past the old safe zone, perhaps three miles away or more, was the faintest wisp of smoke. It looked like regardless of what started the fire it had already been snuffed out. Whether it had gone out on its own, or because someone had put it out, she wasn’t sure.

Violet lowered the binoculars, instead looking down into the central courtyard where Ruby, Omar, Louis and Aasim were huddled together, still discussing the party preparation.

Violet shook her head in disbelief. She honestly couldn’t believe how seriously they were taking it. A small get-together with the same people they spent every minute of every day with? But Ruby had been right. They had promised before they left to fight the Delta crew that they would throw another party when all of them got back.

Well, most of them were back so they might as well celebrate the fact they were still alive. Ruby was right, they needed this. And despite her concerns. Violet didn’t want to be the one to cancel everyone’s fun. Not unless she had a solid reason to.

The group finished their chat and dispersed into the academy, off to finalise their own preparations. Violet returned her gaze to the distant trees.

A sharp glint of light caught her eyes. Frowning Violet brought the binoculars back her, her face pressed hard against the eyepiece as though it would help her see more clearly. Her eyes roamed the trees, where she thought she saw the flash. She kept her eyes trained on the trees as the minutes silently passed by.

_Nothing._

Violet let the binoculars drop once more, and rubbed her palms across her face, she sighed. She was tired, perhaps she was imagining things. Maybe Ruby was right and she was over-reacting. Keeping Ericson going, keeping it hidden, and knowing that failure at that point would cost her so much, it was a lot to handle.

_Still…._ Violet bit the inside of her cheek, and scanned the distant trees where the thin wisp of smoke had now disappeared. Her eyes narrowed.

“Better safe than sorry,” Violet muttered to herself, pulling out the maps from where she had tucked them into her belt.

Laying them out, she made sure they were oriented correctly, as she started poking through the papers. A few maps detailed places up north like Richmond and Hopewell. They were useless to her. Violet folded them up and tucked them away again. A few were more local, and she unfolded each of them and got to work.

Violet unfolded a large map, which had Ericson circled in one corner, and a host of other building nearby with small crosses on them. It was the most detailed map of the area compared to any of the others. Lily and the Delta crew must have found it when scavenging the area, and it had led them right to the Ericson front gates… and their deaths.

Violet examined the contours, and looking to the east she identified a few buildings she thought could be promising. With a decisive nod Violet folded the maps back up again. Tomorrow morning, after the party, she was going to let Clementine and the others know she would be going out scouting for supplies. But that wouldn’t be all she was scouting for. If there was even the smallest trace of whatever had lit that fire, Violet planned to find it, follow it, and if necessary, end it.

Violet settled in, sitting with her back against the warm bricks of the bell tower. She still had few hours before she had to try and convince Clementine to leave her bedroom and head to the old music room for the party.

Violet planned to spend every last minute looking east.

\- - - - -

“Just get in the chair, Clementine,” Violet pushed the chair forward, swivelling it enticingly. Clementine raised her eyebrow.

“Not until you tell me where you plan on taking me,” Clementine shot back, with a hint of humour, “Besides that thing doesn’t even have seatbelts.”

Violet looked down at the dean’s old office chair. Other than one wobbly wheel that kept getting stuck the wrong way, the thing looked perfectly safe to her.

“It doesn’t need seatbelts if you’re not the one driving. Besides, this is top of the line, luxury, padded leather seating. This is by far the best Ericson has to offer.” Violet grinned, abandoning the chair to sit beside Clementine on the bunk.

“Nowhere near the best at Ericson,” Clementine snuck a quick peck on Violet’s cheek, and Violet grinned.

“Well if you want to sit on something else…” Violet smirked, and Clementine scoffed.

“You really are the worst.” Clementine deadpanned, nudging Violet playfully with her shoulder, but Violet could see the blush rising in Clementine’s cheeks.

“Heh, yeah maybe.” Violet smiled, taking up Clementine’s hand, and resting her head on Clementine’s shoulder. They sat quietly for a moment, staring into space. Each lost in their own thoughts, but taking comfort in the other’s presence. 

“So where are you trying to take me anyway?” Clementine’s thumb stroked the top of Violet’s hand, and Violet could hear the smile in her voice, “And are you sure you wouldn’t rather just stay here?”

_And finish what we started earlier?_

The unspoken question hung in the air, and Violet let out a pained groan.

“Don’t tempt me.” Violet whimpered, shaking Clementine’s shoulder. The idea was appealing. During the long nights holding Clementine as they slept, Violet knew she had mostly been providing comfort, but her thoughts had often strayed. “I’ll level with you. The others are trying to throw you a party. A ‘thank you’ for getting us all back safely.”

“Is that what they’re doing?” Clementine murmured. She sounded genuinely amused.

“What’s so funny?” Violet asked, cocking her head to the side to look up and Clementine.

“Hm-oh,” Clementine shrugged, “I think they probably would use any excuse to throw a party. Or play truth or dare, if Louis gets his way.”

“Yeah, we gotta watch for that one. If we’re not careful he’ll be daring us to make out in front of everyone.” Violet sat back up and stretched her neck. It was starting to get a cramp.

“Either that, or with him.” Clementine smirked, and Violet pulled a face.

“Erch!” Violet leaned away and pretended to dry heave, “Lay off Clem, the guys my best friend!”

“I thought I was your best friend,” Clementine pretended to sound wounded, but couldn’t stop her grin as she pulled Violet back towards her. Violet didn’t resist, and seized the momentum to lean in and surprise Clementine with a quick kiss.

“Best friend after you,” Violet confirmed, before kissing her again, slowly. After a moment she reluctantly broke away, “Now lets go, otherwise they’ll just bring the party here. And If they do that I can guarantee it’ll end up with someone being dared to make out with someone else in the closet.”

“Fine!” Clementine threw up her hands in mock surrender, “I give up! Take me! I’ll submit to your will!”

Violet raised her eyebrow, and Clementine rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean.” Clementine struggled to stand, and Violet rushed to help her. Clementine waved her away, and hopped over to the wheelie chair. Violet stood behind the chair and made sure it didn’t roll away while Clementine carefully lowered herself into the seat.

Wheeling Clementine from the dorms to the music room was a relatively straight forward process. AJ had been given the job of sweeping everything out of the way to make sure the chair would make the distance unobstructed. Violet had to admit the slight tidy up had made the place look better than is had in years. Once they managed to sort out some of the basics, she was considering putting up a chore chart. At the very least, clean floors might make it easier for Clementine to get around.

When they got to the solid music room doors, Violet swivelled the chair around, so she could open the door and wheel Clementine in backwards. That had been Ruby’s idea. A small touch that would ensure Clementine wouldn’t see the banner until Violet spun the chair back around to face the inside of the room.

Of course, it did mean Violet had to walk through the doors butt-first. Violet reached behind her and fumbled with the handle, then slid through the door, as she had been instructed to do, and swivelled Clementine around to face the room.

“Surprise!” The room erupted in cheer, Violet along with it. She hadn’t expected Clementine to shout too though, while suddenly throwing a handful of torn up paper in her face, like it was some sort of confetti.

“What?” Violet blinked, as the pieces of paper landed in her hair and shoulders she looked around the room in confusion. Her eyes drifted to the large banner hanging from ceiling.

_“HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIOLET!!”_

Confused, Violet looked at Ruby, who was beaming with pride at the success of her deception, and down to Clementine, who was smirking at her.

“Didn’t see that one coming did you?” She grinned from her chair.

Violet didn’t have a chance to answer, before she knew it everyone in the room had pressed in around her, taking turns to embrace her, and wishing her a happy birthday. Louis lifted her, giving her a quick spin before plopping her back down next to Clementine, who reached up and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Why…” Violet couldn’t stop smiling. She wiped the corner of her eyes quickly with her free hand, “How do you know?” Violet asked. She wasn’t even sure herself what day it was, let alone be sure it was her birthday.

“Well, when I was looking at the psych files, I saw your birthdate on the front cover. October.” Ruby shrugged, “Hard to tell exactly what day it is, but the leaves are turning, so it’s probably pretty close to October.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Violet turned to Clementine, who rolled her eyes.

“And ruin the surprise?” she asked, giving Violet’s arm a gentle tug, “Please! Some of us know how to keep a secret.”

Clementine pulled her down then, and captured Violet’s lips in her own. Louis let out a whoop, and Ruby whacked his arm.

“Happy birthday,” Clementine whispered when they parted. Violet moved to steal another kiss, but AJ interrupted, wrapping his arms around Violet’s waist.

“She said I should do this and say happy birthday.” AJ said as he released his hold and looked over at Clementine, “Did I do it right?”

“Thanks AJ, and as far as I’m concerned, you did just fine.” Violet chuckled, casting an amused glance at Clementine.

“I guess we never celebrated many birthdays on the road,” Clementine frowned slightly, as AJ ran over to Louis, who was busy picking a record, “Well it’s a good chance for him to learn.”

Louis held a record up to AJ, who nodded, and he put a record on. The room filled with the sound of plucky banjos and tortured violins. Violet recognised it as blue grass and she couldn’t help but smile. Violet leant down to offer her hand to Clementine.

“Care to dance?” she grinned.

“How?” Clementine frowned at her, puzzled, but she accepted Violet’s hand regardless.

“Stay in the chair,” Violet stood in front of the chair and took up Clementine’s other hand, “And we’ll figure it out from there.”

Louis turned the music up, and while he watched AJ bounce around the room in his undeniably cute improvised dancing, Violet managed her own improvisation, swivelling the chair back and forth in time to the music. Occasionally Violet would give Clementine a twirl, and Clementine would laugh shifting side to side in her seat, her shoulders swaying to the music.

As Violet basked in the glow of Clementine’s smile, she knew this would be one of those nights she would never forget. Drunk on joy and both of them discovering that no matter what else happened, they could still find a way to dance together.

After a few songs, Violet reluctantly let go of Clementine’s hands and tiredly pushed her over to Louis.

“Give me a minute to catch my breath and get a drink,” Violet puffed. It was harder than she thought it would be, pulling the heavy leather chair around the dance floor.

“Bring me one too, please.” Clementine said cheerfully, and Violet beamed. She hadn’t seen Clementine so happy since before the Delta showed up.

_Or perhaps ever._ Violet thought to herself as she went to fetch a glass of ‘punch’ that was really just powdered sports drink scavenged from the school’s old gymnasium. She hoped Clementine liked the taste of purple.

As Violet scooped up her first glass, Ruby and Aasim bumped into her, causing her to spill it over her hand and sleave.

“Whoops! Sorry!” Aasim called, as he pulled Ruby away in their dance. Ruby was having too much fun to apologise. Violet didn’t mind, she just smiled. She was glad to see the two were finally doing something about their feelings.

Shaking the wetness from her sleeve, Violet refilled her cup and turned to walk back to Clementine. When Violet saw Clementine and Louis leaning towards each other, deep in conversation, she changed course. From the earnest look on Clementine’s face, Violet could guess what the conversation was about, and knew it was long overdue.

Placing the cups down on the piano, Violet knelt down under the pretence of picking a new record. She had intended to give them privacy, but from where she was kneeling, she could just make out Clementine’s voice above the music.

“-It is my fault though, and I’m sorry.” Clementine said, and Violet frowned. She knew Clementine felt guilty over what happened to Louis, but she couldn’t really think it was her fault, could she?

Violet was ready to stand up and correct her, but Louis was already scrawling something in a notebook he had taken to carrying around. He showed it to Clementine, but Violet couldn’t see what he had written.

“I know,” Clementine smiled warmly, “but that’s not the reason I saved her over you. It wasn’t a conscious choice really, I just reacted. If I had more time to think…”

Louis started to write again, and Clementine waited for him to finish his message. He held up the book and fixed Clementine with a knowing smile.

“Probably,” Clementine laughed, “But I would have at least tried to save you too.” The conversation stalled for a moment, and Clementine continued, more sombre, “Does it still hurt?”

Louis shrugged, and held up his palm and waggled it.

“Sometimes?” Clementine asked, and Louis nodded, “I… I really am sorry Louis.”

Louis rolled his eyes, and wrote something else down.

“’I make do.’” Clementine read his words aloud before looking down at her own stump, “I suppose that’s all we can do, for now. Before tonight I thought I would never get to dance again... As long as we’re still here there’s hope, right? We can…’make do.’”

Louis nodded, and enthusiastically slapped her on the shoulder. Violet winced. That looked like it had hurt. Picking a random record, Violet stood up changed them over. Twinkling piano music filled the room, and Violet joined Louis and Clementine. She glanced down at his book, bursting with curiosity over what he had written.

“Hey guys,” Violet stood beside Clementine, handed her the drink, and gave Louis a nod, “What’s happening?”

“Just talking about your slick dance moves,” Clementine reached up and tangled her fingers through Violet’s. Clementine’s wry grin made Violet roll her eyes.

“Next time you can lead.” She grumbled, but couldn’t keep the smile from her lips.

_‘I know it’s your birthday Violet, but I got something for Clementine too._ ’ Louis held up his notebook and Violet read it aloud.

“What is it?” Clementine sat up, her curiosity piqued.

Louis looked at Violet questioningly.

“Well it’s not like I’m going to tell you not give my girlfriend a present just because it’s _my_ birthday party,” Violet said, when she realised why he hesitated, “How selfish do you think I am?”

Louis grinned and Violet shoved him in the shoulder.

“Don’t you dare answer that.” She growled. He laughed and disappeared behind the piano, rummaging through a box. It was good to hear him laugh again. He reappeared a moment later, a guitar in hand, and thrust it towards Clementine.

“A…guitar?” Clementine looked at it, a little confused before she caught herself and graciously accepted it, “Thank you. Where did you get it?”

_‘Scavenged,’_ Louis wrote back quickly.

“But…” Clementine heisted before accepting the gift, and held up her hand, “I can’t play… my missing finger…”

Louis rustled through the pages of his notebook, before underling one of his earlier messages and holding it up. Violet read the words ‘I make do.’ Louis had underlined ‘make do,’ and he tapped it with his finger for emphasis.

_‘I want to teach you,’_ Louis wrote, _‘And whoever else wants to learn. I can’t sing anymore, but I can still make music.’_

Clementine didn’t refuse, and Violet smiled. Louis was a smart guy, and Violet suspected the gift didn’t have anything to do with Louis suddenly wanting to take on pupils. Violet watched as Louis showed Clementine how to hold it, and where to put her fingers. Together they managed to play a small tune that Violet vaguely remembered from an old tv show.

_Not just old, ancient history now._ Violet thought wryly. _Damn I miss tv_.

Eventually Clementine put the guitar down, resting it carefully against the wall as she thanked Louis and made plans to practice together the next day.

“What about you Violet? Want to come learn something too?” Clementine asked, glancing up at her, “You can sing along if you like?”

“I’ve got other plans,” Violet shook her head and Clementine looked at her questioningly. “The guys found some maps of the area. It showed a few homesteads nearby. I thought I might go and check them out. We need whatever we can find come winter.”

Violet was pretty pleased with how casual she managed to sound. Nothing but a run of the mill supply run. Nothing to look twice at, nothing at all to worry about…

“Which direction you heading?” Clementine asked, and Violet winced.

“East,” she tried to sound nonchalant, but the look Louis shot at her was not helping. Violet glared at him, warning him to stay out of it. Clementine looked between them.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Violet said, too quickly. Clementine frowned at her, and Violet hurriedly followed up, “He just thinks I shouldn’t go by myself. Take someone with me.” Violet lied, throwing in a casual shrug for good measure, before turning to stare Louis down. “But I already told him, it’s just a scouting mission, I can do this by myself.”

Louis shook his head, and reached for his notebook, but Clementine spoke up first.

“He has a point Vi, never go alone.” Clementine said, fixing her with a firm look. Violet crossed her arms.

“I’ll be fine,” Violet shrugged, but Clementine didn’t look satisfied. “Ok, ok! I’ll… take Aasim or Omar. Will that make you happy?”

“Yes,” Clementine did, in fact, sound happier.

Louis just stared at her. His gaze spoke volumes, and she hoped he didn’t bring up the smoke they had spotted earlier that morning. After everything Clementine had been through, Violet didn’t want her to worry about what might turn out to be nothing more than an abandoned camp fire. Violet had to check it out, to be sure, but that didn’t mean Clementine had to spend the day stuck at Ericson imagining the worst.

_Not to mention asking someone else to go out there with me…_ Violet thought to herself. As ready as she was to go out beyond the gates of Ericson, and as much as she had agreed to delegate, she still felt uncomfortable asking the others to risk their lives for her.

Eventually Louis gaze softened, and he placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, before quickly writing a note.

_‘Be careful.’_ He wrote, and looked meaningfully at Clementine. Violet nodded and Louis walked off to join AJ. Violet smiled as Louis took AJ by the hands, and showed him a few dance moves. Violet recognised the steps from their dance classes before the outbreak.

“That was… ominous.” Clementine looked at her intently, but if she suspected anything she didn’t say. Violet tried to ignore the guilt pricking at her stomach.

“He’s just been a bit… nervous after what Lily did to him.” Violet lied. It didn’t make her feel any better, and she crossed her arms tighter. “He doesn’t want to see anyone else get hurt.”

“No one does…” Clementine frowned, glancing over at Louis.

Just then Omar brought in a pot of stew followed by Willy carrying a tray of bowls.

Everyone moved to grab a bowl, before sitting on the floor in a circle. It reminded Violet of how they use to do show and tell at school, when she was a kid. After Violet helped Clementine out of her chair and onto the floor, she joined the party and they ate.

“I can’t remember the last time we celebrated a birthday,” Ruby smiled as she ate.

“How old are you?” AJ asked as he lowered the bowl from his lips.

“I’m not sure,” Violet cocked her head to one side as she tried to calculate how many winters had passed since the teacher had left, so long ago now, “I think… 19 maybe? How about you AJ?”

AJ didn’t answer, instead looking at Clementine questioningly.

“I think he might be five.” Clementine said speculatively, counting on her fingers, “hard to tell, we lost a track of time for a bit there.”

“How about you?” Violet asked bashfully, once again realising how little she knew of Clementine’s life before Marlon had carried her through the gates of Ericson.

“Eighteen, maybe?” Clementine shrugged, “Like I said, I lost track of time for a while.”

Violet was surprised that Clementine was younger than her. Her confidence had led Violet to assume she was much older.

“When is your birthday?” AJ asked, and Violet silently cheered him for asking. Clementine only shrugged in return.

“It doesn’t matter,” she smiled, but Violet new Clementine well enough by then to see it wasn’t genuine. Violet looked at her curiously, but decided not to ask.

“When’s my birthday?” AJ asked.

“Winter,” Clementine said, and left it at that, that distant look in her eye once more.

They took turns going around the room guessing how old they thought they all were, even Louis who grabbed his notebook and wrote down his age.

“You are not 25!” Violet protested, throwing a cushion at him which he deftly dodged, “The way you act, there is no way you are a day over twelve.”

He scribbled quickly in his notebook, holding up a page that read, ‘ _Oldest and prettiest._ ’

“Debatable,” Ruby whacked his shoulder.

“Definitely debatable,” Aasim agreed.

“I think you’re pretty, Louis,” AJ pipped up, ready to defend his friend.

Violet laughed, and in the dim candle light she was overjoyed to see Clementine laughing beside her. Whoever’s birthday this party was for, Violet realised Ruby had been right. They had all needed it.

‘ _Thank you, AJ. You are my only friend._ ’ Louis held up his paper, and AJ slowly read it aloud as the group descended into a hopeless giggles again.

Across the circle, Violet saw Ruby catch Aasim’s eye. Aasim nodded and started collecting the plates. Louis turned his page and wrote another note.

‘ _Presents?’_ he asked, and Ruby nodded.

“Come on guys,” Violet suddenly felt self-conscious, and a bit embarrassed that after years of neglecting the pleasantries, it was her birthday they had chosen to celebrate. “You don’t have to give me anything.”

They ignored her protests, each of them running to whatever corner of the room they had hidden their gifts in. Most gifts were scavenged or items that had been saved for a rainy day. Not that Violet was complaining. A tin of pineapples, from Omar, was rarer than gold. More valuable too, if it hadn’t spoiled yet.

Willy gave her a twisted metal wire sculpture, of a rat of all things, which she graciously accepted promising to display it in her room beside one of Clementine’s collection of skulls. AJ handed her a fistful of bullets, of various calibre, though none of the 9mm that would work in his newly scavenged pistol, Violet noticed. Without a doubt he had kept those for himself. Clementine covered her eyes with her hand, a bit embarrassed by his offer, but Violet accepted them with a smile.

“Thanks AJ,” Violet put them in her pocket. They didn’t have many guns, but every bullet was a blessing as far as she was concerned. Violet hesitated before leaning forward and whispering in AJ’s ear, “I’ll make sure I used them to protect Clementine.”

When she pulled back, AJ have her a nod of approval. When Violet sat back down the gifts kept coming. A few more tins of food, a magazine from Louis that made her blush and immediately hide by sitting on it, and a soft blue scarf from Clementine. Violet wrapped it around her neck immediately.

“Where did you find it?” Violet asked, admiring the colour. It was soft and warm too.

“AJ found an old pair of woollen socks in one of the old dorm rooms,” Clementine answered, inspecting the scarf, “I unravelled them and made it into a scarf myself. I wanted to add a personal touch, so I stitched something in. Do you like it?” Clementine pointed to the corner of the scarf.

Violet peered at the embroidered stitching in the dim light and saw a deep blue heart, with the letters ‘V&C’ at it’s centre.

‘I love it,” Violet smiled, feeling momentarily overcome while running her fingers over the stitching. She made a promise to herself to keep the scarf safe too.

Suddenly Louis leapt up and ran to the piano, while Ruby stood up to retrieve her gift, and the last one by Violet’s count. Louis started hammering on the piano keys, an old familiar song jumping to everyone’s lips as they sang her happy birthday.

Almost everyone, Violet corrected herself. She noticed AJ frowning as the traditional happy birthday song reached its crescendo.

“Don’t worry AJ, just listen and you’ll learn it for next time.” And Violet meant it too. She wanted to make sure they had nights like this more often. She was going to make certain they started celebrating birthdays again.

As the song pattered out, the last surprised was placed in the centre of the circle. A soft brown cake, with a single, brightly burning candle.

“A cake?” Violet asked in disbelief. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw a cake.

“Carrot and wild ginger,” Ruby said, “From the garden. Omar helped with the recipe. Louis found the flour while scavenging the ship, powdered milk and eggs from our reserves. A bit of a splurge I guess, but I couldn’t resist.”

Violet shook her head, “It’s for everyone. I can’t think of a better use.”

_Bread?_

The sarcastic thought sprang to her mind, but she ignored it. If there was a time for sarcasm, this wasn’t it. Violet looked around at the small group surrounding her, faces alight with joy as they gathered in anticipating of the cake being cut. Violet turned and saw the whatever it was that was stirring inside her own heart, that she hadn’t yet given voice to, was mirrored back at her in Clementine’s smile.

It was enough for her, in that moment, to be grateful for what she had. A level of contentment snuck into her, and she leaned forward to blow out the candle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, 
> 
> Thanks for reading another chapter! A long one this week too. There was so much I wanted to add to this chapter, but in the end sometimes its best to just move on to the next chapter. 
> 
> If you are curious, my blue grass inspiration was a Spotify playlist called Picken On the hits of 2015. Blue grass covers of pop songs, both terrible and amazing at the same time. 
> 
> Next weeks chapter will be a little late due to my study commitments, and also because while I had all of chapter 8 written, I ended up not liking the direction it took, so I scratched it and am currently re-writing it. It was overly action oriented, which I felt didn't match the tone of the story I am trying to create. I have an idea for a sequel, so I might re-purpose that chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

Violet made sure the metal gates were properly shut before she stalked off down the path. The sun hadn’t yet risen and the air was still crisp. Violet was glad for the woollen scarf Clementine had given her the night before.

Violet thumbed the clumsy embroidery with a tinge of guilt. She had promised Clementine she would take someone with her on this trip. Instead she had woken up early and purposefully slipped silently form their bed in order to avoid any awkward questions. She didn’t want Clementine to worry, but she also didn’t want to ask anyone else to risk their lives for her own peace of mind.

Violet pushed all thoughts of broken promises to the back of her mind as she slowly turned off the track and started heading east, in the direction she had seen smoke the day before. With any luck Violet would find nothing out of the ordinary, and be safely back behind the gates or Ericson before lunch time.

Clementine wouldn’t care that she hadn’t taken anyone with her if she came back on one peace. Violet tried to convince herself of as much, anyway. Clementine did take her rules pretty seriously. At least when Clementine was applying them to the people she loved she applied them seriously, not so much when she applied them to herself.

It took a few moments for Violet’s thoughts to catch up to her, and she shook her head ruefully.

 _Loved?_ Violet chuckled to herself as she jumped over a gnarled tree root, _Someone has tickets on themselves. I’m pretty sure she has to actually tell you first, before you just put yourself in that category._

Still, Violet let herself fall down the well of fancy, reminiscing on the tender ‑and more heated- moments they had shared together as she made her way through the forest. They may have only been together a month or so, but it was starting to dawn on Violet that this might turn into something neither of them had dared hope for, not after how much each of them had lost. It was almost too good to be true.

It was a nice thought, but a distracting one. Violet had to remain focused. She knew that every time she stepped beyond the walls of Ericson her life was at risk. Getting distracted by thoughts of Clementine wasn’t going to keep Violet alive out there, no matter how soft her lips were…

 _Oh no you don’t! Stay focused!_ Violet blinked away the memory, but couldn’t completely wipe the grin from her face.

The landscape started to change, and the pines slowly started to thin out and give way to fields of green. She was well outside the old safe zone now.

In the distance Violet could see the roof of a house surrounded by a small wire fence, with dense overgrown trees packed around it. Violet pulled the map from her back pocked and examined it, puzzled.

This hadn’t been one of the locations she had picked the night before, she knew that much. Either she was lost, or someone had built a new house and farm since the map had been made. Violet found where she was on the map, and traced the area with her finger.

Nothing there but brown farmland. Violet checked the date of the map, and saw it had been drawn up when she would have only been five or so.

With a shrug Violet folded up the map and returned it to her back pocket. If the place wasn’t on a map, maybe it hadn’t been scavenged yet. Violet grabbed the bow she had strung around her shoulders, the last seven arrows for which were in a quiver clipped to her belt. No point being reckless.

Violet crossed the open field, suddenly feeling very exposed. She picked up the pace. If there was anyone out there, they would have a clear view of her from the house or the forest, and there was nothing in-between for cover.

As she got closer, she realised why this house hadn’t been on her map. It wasn’t a house at all, but a small RV, parked and well hidden by a small cluster of apple trees. The land must have been part of the nearby farmstead, and this was their orchard. Whoever owned the caravan must have found the source of food appealing and had decided to make it their new home.

Violet cautiously approached. The grass was overgrown around the tyres, and a thick layer of dust coated the windscreen, but just because it looked abandoned didn’t mean it was.

The remains of a camp fire caught her eye. Kneeling down, Violet tested the ash with her fingers. It was stone cold. Not that that meant anything. The fire had been lit over 24 hours ago now, and she doubted much heat would have remained by then. Still, safer to assume this fire had been the source of the smoke she saw.

Her mind started working through a plan of action, and she started to feel a little calmer. It was something she had noticed when working with Clementine, while brainstorming solutions for improving their day to day defences. Starting a plan, breaking the insurmountable task up into chunks and working it through piece by piece, gave her a clear path forward.

First, clear the grounds around the front and the back of the RV, then clearing the inside. After that she would scavenge what she could, and make sure she filled her backpack with as many apples as she could. If all went well, Violet planned to talk to Ruby about how they could grow their own grove of apple trees, closer to the school, or even inside the school grounds. Violet vaguely remembered Clementine saying she liked apples.

 _As if you don’t take note of every little thing that she says she likes,_ Violet scoffed at herself, knowing it was true. The thought didn’t make Violet feel any better about lying to Clementine, so once again Violet pushed it away and tried to focus on the task at hand.

The small clearing surrounding the RV was easy to assess. Nothing but grass, broken glass and empty cans. Violet cautiously approached the RV, checking the front cab first before positioning herself by the side door.

She knocked on the door and waited.

If there was anyone in there, she had just given herself away. But if there were any walkers in there she would soon know. A few moments of silence passed, and Violet knocked again, louder. Again, nothing but silence answered her.

Violet left her bow and the arrow she had notched at the side door, and instead pulled her cleaver from her belt. Her bow would be no good in such close quarters. If she missed with her first shot she wouldn’t have time to fire another.

Violet tested the door, and it swung silently open. At least it wasn’t locked.

Hesitantly Violet poked her head into the dark interior. The windows were boarded up, and the air smelt musty, but it was empty. With more confidence Violet up the narrow stairs into the RV, and grimaced as she took in her surroundings.

After being abandoned for what must have been years everything was covered in grime, and empty containers and bottles were strewn everywhere. Violet wrinkled her nose at the overpowering stench of ammonia. She could see a firmly shut door behind where the driver’s seat was positioned. If she had to guess, that was the bathroom, and she made a mental note to go nowhere near it. If the smell of stale piss was so strong out there, she could only guess how bad it would be if she opened the door.

With surprise Violet saw an empty dog bowl beside the driver’s seat. She shook her head in begrudging awe. She was used to small and cramped, especially growing up in a trailer when it had been her Mum, Dad, and herself. The three of them had been living on top of each other most of the time, and Violet had taken to spending as much time outside as possible, just to get some space. But this space felt like that was barely room for one person, much less a pet.

Making the decision not to linger too long, Violet threw her cleaver down onto the table and started opening the nearest cabinets with the intent to leaving nothing useful behind. Rummaging for whatever supplies she could, Violet was pleasantly surprised to find quite a bit inside the cupboards. Mostly stale hard biscuits and a few cans, which didn’t count for much now most of the tinned food was well past spoiled. She took it away in the hopes it might still turn out to be still good when they opened it.

As Violet looked further into the cupboards, she heard the door swing shut behind her. Violet’s hands froze on a tin of beans. She knew she was no longer alone.

“Move and you’re dead.” A high pithed voice made Violet jump. It had been filled with malice and false bravado, but Violet could hear the undertone of fear the forced aggression had been trying to hide.

Taking a gamble, Violet raised her hands into the air showing she wasn’t a threat, and slowly turned around. A young woman with short-cropped hair was holding Violet’s own bow, the notched arrow pointed squarely at the centre of Violet’s chest. She couldn’t have been much older that Willie, and her eyes darted wildly around the RV, as though she expected someone else to jump out at any minute.

“I said don’t – fucking- move!” The girl stumbled over her words, drawing the bow back threateningly. Violet saw the girl’s scraped hands shake with the effort.

“I –“ Violet paused and licked her lips, there was something in the wild look in the small girls eyes that made her hesitate, “I was just looking for food. I’ll leave.”

Violet took a careful step forward, and bent over to retrieve her backpack. As Violet stooped forward, the girl let loose her arrow. Violet barely had time to register the arrow flying over her head before the girl was on her in a flurry of fists.

Violet took a few punches to the face before she realised what was really happening. More in shock than anything else, Violet pushed back in an attempt to free herself.

The girl fell easily under the force of Violet’s push, and Violet made for the door to the RV. As she cleared the last step, the girl landed squarely on her back, and Violet fell face first into the ground.

Violet grunted as she tried to free herself from under her assailant, who continued to strike at her with blow after blow onto the back of Violets shoulders and head. Violet couldn’t free herself, but succeeded in twisting around so that she could hold her hands up to defend herself.

Her blows suddenly less effective, Violet’s assailant changed tack, her small hands instead wrapping around Violet’s throat. Violet’s eyes bulged as she suddenly couldn’t breathe, her own fingers clawing at the determined grip around her throat.

As her vision blurred and her strength waned, Violet abandoned her attempt to break free. Her hand grasped at her belt for the cleaver that wasn’t there, and instead found the quiver of arrows. Violet slid an arrow out of the quiver and threw everything she had behind the force of her attack.

Violet stabbed at the girl’s throat, and the arrow found its target. The girl’s hands fell away from Violet’s throat and raised to her own, and Violet took a deep and grateful breath. With her newfound strength, Violet pushed the girl off from on top of her, and wriggled free.

Violet took a few more breaths, her hands clutching at her tender throat, before she had calmed down enough to realise the girl had stopped moving.

“Shit-sticks,” Violet rasped, wincing at the pain in her throat as she spoke. She scrambled over to the girl, but even as she approached, she could see there was nothing left to save. The girl’s eyes were vacant, and the blood gushing from her neck had trickled to a slow pulse.

Violet reared away, falling back to sit in the dirt, her elbows resting on her needs as her mind caught up with itself. She kept casting furtive glances at the still form of the dead girl, but couldn’t make herself look at the body directly.

“For fuck…” Violet coughed as her throat constricted. She cleared her throat and tried again, softer this time, “You didn’t have to shoot.”

With a groan, Violet stood up, taking the time to rearrange her scarf that had come loose. She winced as the wool suddenly felt rough against her tender skin. Slowly, she forced herself to walk over to the body and pull the arrow out, before thrusting it through the girl’s eye, deep into her brain.

She had shot at Violet, and had nearly strangled her to death, but Violet wasn’t going to let her come back as a walker. She couldn’t. Not when this kid has so obviously just been alone and scared. If things had gone differently maybe they would have been walking back to Ericson together, swapping stories. Instead she had died in the dirt, and Violet didn’t even know her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, 
> 
> Thanks for your patience, and as promised here is the new chapter, only a week late! 
> 
> The next one is mostly finished, so I'm hoping I can get it out to you a bit quicker than usual. 
> 
> Not gonna lie, this wasn't my favourite chapter to write, in part because it was a complete re-write from what I originally had planned, and in part because I mostly just want to finish playing the Last of Us 2. Hope you enjoy it though!


	9. Chapter 9

“It’s her,” Violet heard Willy whisper hoarsely from atop the watch tower as she approached the front gates of Ericson, “The others only just left looking for her…”

Violet’s wince had nothing to do with her tender and bruised throat. She should have known Clementine would send people out to find her. Doubtless they had all split up to cover more ground. Instead of protecting people, Violet had inadvertently sent them to greater risk.

“Go let Clem know,” AJ said seriously, “I’ll get the gate.”

Violet kicked at a few stones, and absently thumbed the embroidery on her scarf while she waited for AJ to climb down and let her in. She was glad they had seen her. Her throat was too sore to shout. But by the sound of it she was still going to have to explain herself to Clementine…

Violet didn’t have to stew in her own guilt for long. AJ opened the gate, and Violet winced as he glared at her. If AJ was this angry, Clementine must have been… Violet licked her lips nervously.

“Hey AJ,” Violet said softly, her throat only hurt a little, really, “Is she angry?”

AJ narrowed his eyes, his lip curling disapprovingly.

“Of course she is, you broke rule number one, and for no good reason.” Violet felt the shame rising in her cheeks, and AJ shook his head, perhaps sensing how Violet was feeling, “She wasn’t angry at first. I’ve seen her angry before, but the look on her face when Aasim told her you weren’t here and she realised you lied to her, that wasn’t angry. I’ve never seen her look like that before. I’m not sure what she was feeling but it wasn’t anger.”

AJ’s face scrunched thoughtfully, as he tried to understand and define what he had witnessed. Violet on the other hand wanted to dig a grave and bury herself in it. She had a pretty good idea what it was Clementine had been feeling.

“Hurt,” Violet croaked regretfully, “I hurt her, AJ.”

Violet’s throat suddenly felt constricted, and she fell silent, though it had nothing to do with her bruises. The thought that her actions had hurt Clementine, that she had somehow let Clementine down, made her ache with regret.

“Okay,” AJ’s face softened, and he motioned for Violet to follow him, “I guess I forgive you. But you should go talk to her.”

Violet nodded dumbly and followed AJ into the courtyard towards the dormitories. As AJ marched beside her, Violet felt as though she were being escorted under guard to face judgement. She supposed in a way she was. She just hoped her judge would be merciful.

As they entered the dorms, Willy crossed them going back towards the court yard.

“She’s waiting for you now,” he gave her a wonky and unsure smile, which Violet weakly returned as she walked past him. “Good luck.” He whispered and gave her a thumbs up.

As they reached the door, AJ reached out to push the door open, but Violet stopped him at the last minute.

“Stop.” She whispered and AJ paused, his hand on the heavy bronze doorknob.

“What is it?” AJ asked.

“What…,” Violet licked bit her lips and looked down at him, “What made you forgive me so quickly?”

AJ smiled pityingly back up at her, “When you realised how you made her feel, you made the same face she made.”

He didn’t give Violet anytime to register what he said or what it meant, instead he twisted the knob and opened the door.

“She’s here,” AJ said, “I’m going to go fishing. Everyone should be on their way back soon, and we need something for dinner.” AJ moved out the door way and left, without giving Violet a second look.

With a deep breath, Violet entered the room. It felt foreign to her, like she was suddenly trespassing on unfamiliar land. Clementine sat at her desk, staring distantly into the eye sockets of one of her many souvenir skulls. A bird skull, if Violet had to guess.

“Hey,” Violet started tentatively. Clementine didn’t respond for a moment. Instead, she continued to stare at the fragile bones in her hands, twisting it around so she could consider it from different angles.

The silences stretched to fill the corners of the room, and Violet crossed her arms, shifting uncomfortable from foot to foot.

“You’ve got the worst tell,” Clementine said absently, still staring at the skull, “You know, like in poker. Whenever you cross your arms, I can guess exactly what’s going through your head.”

“What?” Violet frowned and hurriedly uncrossed her arms, suddenly feeling exposed, and recrossing them. This is not what she had expected Clementine’s opening gambit to be.

“It’s your tell,” Clementine glanced up at her before redirecting her attention back to the skull in her hands, “Whenever you do it, I can tell you’re scared, or afraid of being hurt.”

Violet stuffed her hands into her pockets, and thankfully Clementine didn’t say anything, though there was no doubt in Violet’s mind that Clementine had noticed that.

“Well,” Violet quietly said after a moment, “Should I be afraid.”

That got Clementine’s attention. She frowned, the skull in her hand suddenly forgotten as she swivelled in her chair to finally look directly at Violet.

“Of what?” Clementine asked seriously, “Me? Are you seriously asking if you should be afraid of me?”

Violet shrugged evasively, unsure how to express herself, which only made Clementine look stricken.

“I know I’ve…killed a lot of people Vi,” Clementine hesitated as she carefully picked her words. Violet didn’t blame her. They had all killed people to survive, but none of them liked thinking of themselves as ‘murderers.’ Clementine rubbed her hands together, and cast Violet a trouble glance before she continued, “but I’d never hurt you like that. Please don’t think I’m like that.”

“What? No- that’s not what I-” Violet winced and rubbed at her tender throat, being careful not to dislodge the scarf and reveal her bruises. She was fucking this up. All because she couldn’t figure out the rights words… She had to try and figure it out.

“I’m not afraid of that,” Violet swallowed painfully, “I’m not afraid you’ll hurt me Clem, you have never been anything but sweet to me. Shit Clem…”

“Then what-?”

Violet sighed, and scrubbed at her face. This conversation suddenly seemed harder than luring away a herd of walkers.

“I’m just afraid that you’re gonna leave,” Violet finally managed to squeeze out from between her lips. “It’s scary. Thinking you might lose someone that you-” Violet’s didn’t finish the thought, but Clementine didn’t seem to notice.

Instead, to Violet’s surprise, she chuckled bitterly.

“You scared me Violet, I’ve lost… so many. The idea of losing you too, it made me wonder if this…. Us… was worth it.”

“Worth it?” Violet’s heart plummeted, her mind reeling, trying to catch up with what Clementine was saying.

“Worth feeling so empty again when… if I lose you...” Clementine let out a deep sigh and shook her head, “You can’t do that again.”

“To survive sometimes we have to take a risk.” Violet whispered. She wasn’t so sure they were solely talking about her trip beyond the gates at that moment.

“A calculated risk,” Clementine says sharply, “Not a stupid one. You know there is a difference.”

Violet frowned. Was Clementine trying to say dating Violet was a stupid risk?

“Please don’t leave me,” Violet wanted to hold the words back, she hated them even as they left her lips. They made her feel small, and weak. But the fear of what Clementine might be trying to say overwhelmed her, and the words were out before she could stop them.

“What? Leave…?” Clementine cocked her head to the side, peering at Violet puzzledly. After a moment, Violet saw a spark of realisation cross her face, and Clementine looked at her tenderly. Clementine held out her hands, and cautiously Violet stepped forward to take them in her own. The sensation of Clementine’s hands in hers slowed Violet’s racing heart, and she started to think a little clearer.

“Violet, I’m not going to abandon you because you make a mistake, that’s not how this is going to work. I’m not-” Clementine’s mouth snapped shut as she abruptly cut off the end of her sentence.

“It’s ok,” Violet smiled thinly, and Clementine shifted uncomfortably, “You can say it. You’re not my parents.”

“I wasn’t going to…” Clementine started to mutter, but changed her mind, “Alright, it was what I was going to say. But my point stands. I won’t do that to you Violet. You’re not the person you were back then, and even if you were it wasn’t fair of them to do that to you. You we a kid. You didn’t know how to handle someone else’s grief. Violet…”

Clementine paused to pull Violet down onto her lap and into a soft hug.

Clementine fixed Violet with a serious stare, “You’re not that kid anymore. Time and time again, I’ve watched you step up and save people. You saved me Violet. You keep saving me. Every day I keep getting up, keep going, because I know you’re there, waiting for me. Even when you’re not right beside me, I feel that… connection. It makes all of this so much easier. So no, I won’t leave you. We’re going to have to find a way to work this out together.”

Violet didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. She was afraid if she opened her mouth her walls would crumble and so would she.

“So if you also want to work this out…?” Clementine paused and looked at Violet questioningly, and Violet quickly nodded, “Good. Then since we both want this to work, you can’t do that again. You can’t lie to me, and run off alone like that. I know you can handle yourself Vi, but when you didn’t come back, I was so scared. Next time you go out alone, I’m going to be the one who comes out looking for you. Do you understand?

Violet understood.

_Even if it kills her._ Violet shuddered. _And it just might._

“I’m sorry,” Violet’s breath shook as she struggled to get her words out. She took a few deep breaths to calm down before she continued, “I didn’t want to scare you. I didn’t want to leave you here feeling helpless.”

“I’m not a victims Violet, I’m a survivor.” Clementine squeezed Violet’s hand, “Like you. Like everyone else here. Don’t treat me like I’m anything less. If you’re going to risk your life, I want to know about it. Help keep you alive, if I can.”

They sat and silence for a while, and Violent leaned back into Clementine’s embrace, as she gently swivelled the chair back and forth, unable to sit completely still. Her heart was calmer, but the thoughts still raged on through her heard.

Clementine tightened her grip around Violet’s waist, and reached one hand up to gently massage the back of Violet’s neck. Violet flinched involuntarily as memories of dirt coated fingers tightening around her throat rushed through her.

“Hey, what-?” Clementine gently unwound the scarf from Violet’s neck and shoulders, gasping as she revealed the blotchy purple bruises beneath. “Vi, what happened out there?”

“I.. um-” Violet cleared her throat, “I found someone. No, not from the Delta crew,” Violet had seen the question flash across Clementine’s face, “Someone else. Someone lost.”

“That doesn’t explain the bruises,” Clementine’s cool fingers gently traced the outline of the angry purple blotches, being careful not to apply too much pressure. Violet shut her eyes, and tried to lose herself in the sensation, and distract herself from her own story.

“She was lost, I think. Scared.” Violet swallowed, keenly aware of Clementine’s fingers brushing against her skin as she did, “I killed her.”

Clementine’s fingers paused briefly, before they resumed their feather soft touches. Violet only barely noticed.

“And the bruises?” Clementine asked again, trying to bring Violet back to the present, “how did you get them?”

“Like I said” Violet sucked in a deep breath, and sighed heavily, “She was scared. Didn’t know who I was…” Violet trailed off. She didn’t want to think about what had happened, instead all she could think about were the multitude of things that could have gone differently.

Clementine fingers trembled against her skin, and Violet glanced down to see a slight tremor in Clementine’s hand. Clementine let her fingers fall away from Violet, and rubbed her fingers together firmly until the trembling subsided. Violet glanced at her curiously, and Clementine ruefully shook her head.

“It’s nothing, you just…” again Clementine shook her head, and took a deep breath. After a moment, she hesitantly continued, “I-what I mean- I guess what I mean is, it gets better.”

Violets confusion must have shown on her face, and Clementine grimaced.

“If I’m not gonna tell her, then who?” Clementine muttered, and Violet got the impression she hadn’t meant to be able to hear that. “You know that thing AJ does? When you walk up behind him?”

“Yeah,” Violet said, her cheek throbbing at the memory of the last time she approached AJ from behind, “He called it his trauma.” Clementine nodded sadly.

“His trauma, it’s… my doing. My fault. Every bit of it.” Clementine buried her face into Violet’s shoulder, “I lost him Vi. I let him get taken and I lost him. I had to get him back. I tracked him down and killed everyone in my way. Even the people who were taking care of him, the people he loved.”

Violet kept her mouth shut. For once it wasn’t for lack of things to say. She had so many questions, so many assurances she wanted to whisper. But she could sense Clementine just needed to get the words out. Violet suspected Clementine had never spoken about it to anyone before.

“When I finally found him, I shot this woman. I thought she was trying to abduct him, or that maybe she might shoot me if I didn’t shoot first. So I shot her. AJ was covered in her blood...” Clementine trembled slightly, but took a deep breath and steadied herself, “She was looking after him Vi. Taking care of him like he was her son, and maybe AJ thought of her as his mother. I don’t know. But I shot her and…”

Clementine trailed off, and for a moment they sat in silence, Clementine lost in her own thoughts and Violet desperately trying to comprehend the implications of what Clementine had just told her.

“It’s not your fault,” Violet spoke the words, but after everything she had been through that day they felt hollow, “You didn’t have time to make them understand…”

Clementine shook her head against Violet’s shoulder, “Vi, all I ever wanted to do was keep him safe, and in the process, I hurt him. If I hadn’t done it maybe he would have died there, maybe someone else would have taken him. Or maybe he would have been fine and I never would have ended up here. But I’m not trying to make this about myself. What I’m trying to say Violet, it’s a gamble. All of this, just a gamble. Those bad decisions, their consequences, over time it starts to get easier to forgive yourself, if you let yourself.”

Violet grasped at Clementine’s hands, she wanted to cry, but somehow the tears wouldn’t come. So instead she took what solace she could from the comfort of Clementine’s embrace.

There was a sudden knock at the door, and Violet hurriedly scrubbed at her face as she moved to get up, but Clementine held her in place.

“What is it?” Clementine called out, and Violet was in awe at how calm and confident Clementine sounded. Already the grief and pain Clementine had been sharing with her a moment ago had been pushed down, and she was all business.

Willy hesitantly opened the door. When he saw the two of them holding each other, his face split into a grin. Violet couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“A few of the others are back,” he said cheerfully, “And check out what Louis found at some old farm.”

Willy produced a perfect pair of crutches from behind the door and offered them to Clementine as if her were offering her a crown. Violet jumped off Clementine’s lap, even though she felt the absence of the embrace immediately.

“These are…” Clementine reached out to accept them, Violet could see her hands tremble slightly, this time with excitement. Clementine accepted the crutches from Willy, and used them to pull herself up into a standing position. She spent a few seconds fiddling with them to get the to the right high under her arms, then showed off by taking a few tentative paces around the room.

“These don’t suck,” Clementine grinned up at Violet. Violet grinned back as Clementine continued to move around unaided. Clementine didn’t pause her movement as she glanced over her shoulder at Willy, “Hey, did you get a chance to do that thing I asked?”

“The swing?” Willy asked, “Yeah, it was easy once Aasim found the old tyre. I put it up yesterday. I think I saw AJ go out fishing, he should be back soon, if you want to give it a go?”

“Great, thanks!” Clementine shot Willy a grin as he left the room. “I’ll come out in a minute, now that I have these.” Clementine called after him, holding up her crutches.

“A swing?” Violet asked, leaning against the desk as she watched Clementine adjust to her new crutches.

“Mm,” Clementine paused her circumnavigation of the room, and stared out the window at the long grass, “He’s never been on one. This is something I can do…something to make it worth it.”

Clementine rested her chin on one of her crutches, suddenly lost in thought. Violet walked across the room and gently pulled Clementine into her arms. After a few moments, one of Clementine’s crutches fell to the floor as she slid one of her arms around Violet’s waist. They held each other in silence, suspended between their own distant memories and the immediate touch of the others touch.

“So… what’s our way forward?” Violet broke the silence, “Do you think we’ll ever… find peace? You know, not have every day be a fight for survival? Like maybe we’ll wake up tomorrow and from then on life will be just a little easier?”

“I don’t know,” Clementine tightened her hold around Violet’s waist, “But I know ‘easy’ never lasts forever. Like everything else, it comes and goes in waves. But at least we have ‘us.’”

“Yeah,” Violet smiled, and twisted her head to kiss Clementine’s cheek. Clementine reached up, and cupping Violet’s cheek, guiding Violets lips to her own.

“Hey,” Clementine whispered as the broke apart, “we’re ok.”

“We’re ok,” Violet repeated, and finally allowed herself to feel it.

-End-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I felt after the 'deep and meaningful' in this chapter, it was a good place to end it. I had a few ideas for some more lighter fluff, and some heavier smut, but I just couldn't fit it into this fic, because that wasn't what the point of it was. It was always meant to be a sort of 'coming to terms' with story for Clementine, and it ended up addressing some of Violet's growth as well. 
> 
> I'll do some one-offs I think, when I get the time. But thank you for reading guys. My first time writing (something other than an essay) in over a decade, and my first time actually publishing what I wrote. the response has been wonderful, and I think I'll keep trying to improve.


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